BEING MARRIED TO A VISIONARY
APRIL 2013
Lisa Maki
I didn’t know what a visionary was until I married one. Actually, I didn’t even know I was married to one until I read the book CREATED TO BE A HELP-MEET by Debi Pearl. It surely helped me understand all the struggles I’ve been through in my marriage and which I continue to face as the wife of a visionary. It helped me understand how I can be a more effective wife for this type of a husband.
From all the things I’ve learned about a visionary, the following characteristics are the ones that truly represent my husband: has tons of new ideas everyday, changes his mind so swiftly, gets the family upset over peripheral issues, loves confrontation, the voice crying out in the wilderness, can blow matters out of proportion, provoker, hates status quo, highly passionate and enthusiastic and prone to see the world in black and white.
There is definitely no boring moment with my husband because I’ll just never know what will happen next. We can be having some romantic, quiet evening and an idea pops in his mind and he gets all worked up with that idea. Or we can be dreaming of buying a log cabin in some remote area and then the next day he wants us to live in the busiest city in America. I laughed so hard when I read that a wife married to a visionary can either end up so rich or so poor. There is no middle ground.
From all the things I’ve learned about a visionary, the following characteristics are the ones that truly represent my husband: has tons of new ideas everyday, changes his mind so swiftly, gets the family upset over peripheral issues, loves confrontation, the voice crying out in the wilderness, can blow matters out of proportion, provoker, hates status quo, highly passionate and enthusiastic and prone to see the world in black and white.
There is definitely no boring moment with my husband because I’ll just never know what will happen next. We can be having some romantic, quiet evening and an idea pops in his mind and he gets all worked up with that idea. Or we can be dreaming of buying a log cabin in some remote area and then the next day he wants us to live in the busiest city in America. I laughed so hard when I read that a wife married to a visionary can either end up so rich or so poor. There is no middle ground.
One thing I can tell you is that my husband is one of the most misunderstood people. So when I read about the “visionary”, I was so relieved. Actually, both of us were. I finally understood why people don’t understand him. He is different. Most prophets are visionaries and they are the ones who are the most misunderstood.
God knew what He was doing when He paired me with a visionary. Since I am a highly-disciplined person, I have the tendency to be rigid in my ways ... to stick to a regular routine ... and to do things that I have tried and tested over the years. Having a visionary husband surely throws me off and ruins any strict schedules I make. It was a great struggle during the past few years but I am learning to live with it, and actually loving it. I have become more flexible than ever. While I used to spend hours getting ready, I can now put my clothes on and put some hat if I didn’t have time to fix my hair, grab my stuff and jump in the car with my husband. This was something I never did in my single years, and probably something I never imagined I could do.
Being married to a visionary also sharpened my alertness. With a husband like my husband I have to be ready for anything. I can be doing anything and in a spur of the moment he will just ask me ... Are you ready to go? It can be anywhere from a garbage dump to the mall, a junk yard to a real nice park, a fast-food to a fancy restaurant, a bike ride or a train ride, or a trip to the nearby store to a long drive to Seattle. I can go endless with this. I learned to be dressed for all occasions. It’s not easy if we’re talking about a trip to the junk yard to a dinner at a fancy restaurant. This is what drives me crazy but something that I have learned to enjoy. I just have to be ready for anything ... anytime, anywhere.
I remember a trip we made to Snoqualmie to go “inner tubing”. We didn’t know that we should have made reservations. I didn’t bring anything with me except what I was wearing, my wallet, and praise God I brought my make-up kit. My husband then decided to go to another place and stay for the night. That was the first time I went anywhere overnight without extra clothes, comb, and a toothbrush. The motel where we stayed didn’t even have the things I badly needed so I learned to improvise. Honestly, that was one of my most memorable experiences. I surely had a great time. Then there was a trip to North California where we drove and slept in our van. We took the back seats off and just had a futon. We traveled without having much cash on hand since we were expecting some money on our trip. We didn't get the money and we were down to a few dollars after a day. We lived off dollar burgers and water. I had so much fun!
As to my husband’s confrontational and provoking side, it surely taught me how to bite my tongue and maintain a gentle spirit. God knows how difficult it is for me to submit to anyone. My very nature works against the grains of submission. It doesn’t come naturally for me. Of course this brought about a lot of intense fights during the early part of our marriage because of his confrontational and provoking nature matched with my resistance to submit. Boy oh boy was that tough. Yet God used it to finally get me to understand what submission is all about and why I have to submit. When I ultimately learned it and obeyed, my husband became less confrontational and provoking. My quiet spirit also pacified his’.
We still get into intense fellowships but I am better in dealing with him. I know how not to provoke him, and when he gets in a confrontational mode; I know how to handle it as well. Praise God for His patience in teaching me.
Now I am beginning to realize more than ever that God has indeed molded and prepared me to be a wife to a visionary. God gave me the strength to walk side by side a man who is crying out in the wilderness while everybody is stoning him, shouting at him, or laughing at him.
Actually, being married to a man like my husband has humbled me big time. There is no way I can hold my head up high and maintain a spotless and good reputation if I have a husband who can easily provoke people and who can be one of the most controversial people in town. It has surely taught me to be the kind of help-meet that God wants me to be.
So if you are like me, married to a visionary, rest assured that your life will be one exciting roller coaster ride with no dull moments. You have to learn to enjoy it; otherwise you may throw up during the ride.
If you are married to a different kind, find out how you can be a better wife to him. Be thankful and grateful to the kind of husband God gave you and know that God has equipped you to be his help-meet.
Being married to a visionary also sharpened my alertness. With a husband like my husband I have to be ready for anything. I can be doing anything and in a spur of the moment he will just ask me ... Are you ready to go? It can be anywhere from a garbage dump to the mall, a junk yard to a real nice park, a fast-food to a fancy restaurant, a bike ride or a train ride, or a trip to the nearby store to a long drive to Seattle. I can go endless with this. I learned to be dressed for all occasions. It’s not easy if we’re talking about a trip to the junk yard to a dinner at a fancy restaurant. This is what drives me crazy but something that I have learned to enjoy. I just have to be ready for anything ... anytime, anywhere.
I remember a trip we made to Snoqualmie to go “inner tubing”. We didn’t know that we should have made reservations. I didn’t bring anything with me except what I was wearing, my wallet, and praise God I brought my make-up kit. My husband then decided to go to another place and stay for the night. That was the first time I went anywhere overnight without extra clothes, comb, and a toothbrush. The motel where we stayed didn’t even have the things I badly needed so I learned to improvise. Honestly, that was one of my most memorable experiences. I surely had a great time. Then there was a trip to North California where we drove and slept in our van. We took the back seats off and just had a futon. We traveled without having much cash on hand since we were expecting some money on our trip. We didn't get the money and we were down to a few dollars after a day. We lived off dollar burgers and water. I had so much fun!
As to my husband’s confrontational and provoking side, it surely taught me how to bite my tongue and maintain a gentle spirit. God knows how difficult it is for me to submit to anyone. My very nature works against the grains of submission. It doesn’t come naturally for me. Of course this brought about a lot of intense fights during the early part of our marriage because of his confrontational and provoking nature matched with my resistance to submit. Boy oh boy was that tough. Yet God used it to finally get me to understand what submission is all about and why I have to submit. When I ultimately learned it and obeyed, my husband became less confrontational and provoking. My quiet spirit also pacified his’.
We still get into intense fellowships but I am better in dealing with him. I know how not to provoke him, and when he gets in a confrontational mode; I know how to handle it as well. Praise God for His patience in teaching me.
Now I am beginning to realize more than ever that God has indeed molded and prepared me to be a wife to a visionary. God gave me the strength to walk side by side a man who is crying out in the wilderness while everybody is stoning him, shouting at him, or laughing at him.
Actually, being married to a man like my husband has humbled me big time. There is no way I can hold my head up high and maintain a spotless and good reputation if I have a husband who can easily provoke people and who can be one of the most controversial people in town. It has surely taught me to be the kind of help-meet that God wants me to be.
So if you are like me, married to a visionary, rest assured that your life will be one exciting roller coaster ride with no dull moments. You have to learn to enjoy it; otherwise you may throw up during the ride.
If you are married to a different kind, find out how you can be a better wife to him. Be thankful and grateful to the kind of husband God gave you and know that God has equipped you to be his help-meet.
Lisa Maki is the founder, publisher, and editor of God'z Gurlz. More about Lisa at ...
http://www.godzgurlz.com/regular-contributors.html
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