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marriage & relationships

BEWARE OF WAITING FOR YOUR PROMISED MAN


NOVEMBER 2012
by Lisa Maki

I know how it’s like to wait for a promised man.  I’ve been there and my experience is something for the books.  People who know me personally can attest to the struggles I’ve been through.  A former friend of mine even told me one time that she was getting tired with me and she just wanted to see me at peace. 

I was very happy and content being single when God stirred up my heart one day and I felt this sudden ache in my heart for someone.  Prior to that, I was not even looking for anyone.  My friends were trying to hook me up with different men but I was not interested.  I even told a friend one time, “I don’t want to waste my time on someone who is not God’s will for me”. 

I will never forget that day.  I was in a store with some of my co church workers.  I felt this overwhelming desire to be with my man without even knowing who he is.  It was then that I started praying for him, not so much for me to meet him but it was more of me lifting him up in prayer.  I started crying and crying without even knowing why.  Then God gave me a vision of this man.  I saw him so clearly in my mind.  That was about July or August in 2005.  And btw, he looked foreign and that was the last thing I wanted. 

It was also at that same time when a prophet prophesied to me that a foreigner will sweep me off my feet.  Incidentally, God gave me a personal revelation one day through a Scripture in Genesis that says ... Leave your father and mother and go to a far-away country.  Now tell me, how would you feel if all these things start happening to you?

A month later I saw this man over dinner and over a very weird situation (if you want the entire story on this one, read my marriage testimony at http://www.godzgurlz.com/prophetic-marriage-a-testimony.html#.UIQ2NsXR5_Q).  I had second thoughts about him because of the situation he was in.  I saw him that night and never saw him again.  He returned to his country (U.S.) and I stayed in mine (Philippines).  Two months later, we started communicating through emails and our friendship began.  That’s when I seriously sought the Lord for my promised man.  God then revealed to me through Scripture after Scripture that he was the one.  He knew too that I was the one for him.  Sounds like a plan right?  But nope ... just when I thought it was going to be easy and we can just get married, God had other plans.  Our long distance love weakened our faiths and we gave up on our dream and vision to be together. 

My heart was awakened by this man.  Actually, it was God who started awakening my heart.  And since I can’t be with my man at that time, my heart began to search for love elsewhere.  This was where the problems started.  Instead of waiting on God, I put matters into my own hands.  I got into two relationships, one after the other, and ended up so hurt.  It was also a big distraction to what God has called me to do.

I remember one night when I was out for dinner with my friend and sister in the Lord.  I was pouring out my heart to her, confused as to who was really the man for me.  Isn’t this stupid of me to be asking that when I already knew who was the one?  But because we couldn’t be together, and because he chose to be with someone else at that time, I also gave up on him, and on God’s Word.  So there I was, entertaining two men and choosing between them, while still having that thought of “what if I really end up with my promised man (DUH)”?  In short, I was confused among three men.  Who will it be?  My friend and I were laughing about it but I can just imagine what she was probably thinking at that time.  I was not only her friend but also her ministry leader. 

Look here now.  I am exposing myself to you to show you how stupid we can get over waiting for our promised man.  I am exposing myself to you to show you why I have been preaching so hard about this, not only because I’ve been there, but to help you avoid the pitfalls I’ve been through.  I am exposing myself to you to show you that despite my stupidity and stubbornness, God was very gracious with me, and He is with you too.  So if you haven’t started waiting for your promised man, heed my warning.  If you have been waiting for him, heed my warning as well.  If you have been waiting and have stumbled many times, learn from me, stand up, and be encouraged.

Women can surely be very stupid when it comes to love.  We allow our hearts to lead us, which should not be the case.  Only the Word of God and His Spirit should lead us.  But then, the enemy can also deceive us, making us think that it is from God, when it’s really all about us.  I mean, I was a ministry leader, preaching on the pulpit, leading a group of women, and doing big things, and yet when it came to waiting for my promised man, I acted like an immature teenager.  Why was that?  I will tell you why.

It all starts with a pure motive, a desire to be with the man who God designed for us.  It starts with a beautiful picture of being married, a beautiful wedding, spending our life with someone else for the rest of our life, raising children, doing ministry together, etc.  There is nothing wrong with these desires.  Yet, we get overwhelmed with our desire, to the point of losing our focus on Jesus and focusing more on being with our promised man.  This is borderline idolatry and which is an abomination to God. 

Take it from me ... waiting for your promised man can distract you big time, more so if you are entertaining long distance relationships.  It can wear you out.  It can make you impatient.  It can hurt you. 

My godly advice is:  Keep your focus on Jesus and what He has called you to do.  Ask Him to speak clearly to you about your promised man so that you won’t waste your time on those who are not yours.  If you are dating a man now who you are not sure of if he is your promised man or not, that is already a clear sign that he is not.  Stop experimenting just to find out who is the one.  God will send him to you at the right time.  And once you’ve met him, begin to establish a relationship with him, with Jesus.  Pray together, read the Word together, attend church and Bible studies together, draw closer to God together.  Keep it Jesus. 

The best thing I should have done was wait on God for my promised man.  Instead, I became so anxious just because I already had a revelation from Him.  And when it didn’t happen in the physical realm the way I expected it to, I gave up.  I should have trusted in God instead of getting involved with two other men of God and ending up so emotionally exhausted.  I had a clear revelation from the Lord and that should have been more than enough reason for me to believe.

When God finally sent me my promised man in 2007, two years after I saw him, I was so rebuked.  I could see God in my mind with his arms folded, saying:  “Now do you believe”?  I felt like Thomas who doubted Jesus’ resurrection.

Although God’s grace covered me and although He remained faithful to His promise, I was not spared of the consequences for my lack of faith and my disobedience.  After my husband and I got married, God made us wait for another year before we can finally be together in this country.  It was a very difficult and trying time but as I’ve said, I had to bear the consequences of my wrong decisions.

Learn from me my dear sisters.  Don’t make the same mistakes.  God knows what He is doing. All you need to do is put your full trust in Him.

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