DADDY ISSUES
March 2013
by Lisa Maki
My husband and I were fellowshipping one day and he started talking about his childhood with his father. He became emotional, and I did too. I remembered my own dad and the very few good memories I’ve had with him. That’s when I realized that both of us still have daddy issues up to this day.
Our issues with our fathers have molded us into the people we are now. For those of us who have been saved, reborn, and transformed, we are being molded into the image and likeness of our real Father each day. However, in this process of transformation, God is also healing us from the issues we’ve had with our earthly fathers.
My husband’s dad abandoned him after he became very rebellious at the young age of 16. I guess he could not accept what his son has turned into. My dad, on the other hand, did not express his feelings for me. He later on said that he didn’t know how to handle me when I became a teenager. He thought that by expressing his love for me, I will end up so full of myself. I know of so many women who have issues of neglect. Some were sexually abused by their own fathers. Others suffered physical abuse. There are countless stories of men and women who were badly hurt by their dads – the men who were supposed to protect and love them.
Our issues with our fathers have molded us into the people we are now. For those of us who have been saved, reborn, and transformed, we are being molded into the image and likeness of our real Father each day. However, in this process of transformation, God is also healing us from the issues we’ve had with our earthly fathers.
My husband’s dad abandoned him after he became very rebellious at the young age of 16. I guess he could not accept what his son has turned into. My dad, on the other hand, did not express his feelings for me. He later on said that he didn’t know how to handle me when I became a teenager. He thought that by expressing his love for me, I will end up so full of myself. I know of so many women who have issues of neglect. Some were sexually abused by their own fathers. Others suffered physical abuse. There are countless stories of men and women who were badly hurt by their dads – the men who were supposed to protect and love them.
These daddy issues were carried on to our new lives, even after we got reborn. We brought it into our relationships, and into our marriages. Our responses to situations have a lot to do with these daddy issues, even the way we respond to and receive from God.
My hunger for a father’s love made me so hungry for the love of the Father. However, it took a while before I was able to grasp God’s love – the love of the Father. There are Christians who get mad at God when they get disappointed, and this could be a rebellious spirit against their earthly father.
These daddy issues, no matter how we brush them off, and no matter how we say that we have forgiven and forgotten, will always be with us. It will always remind us of our fathers’ shortcomings and how frail they were and still are, so that we can see more than ever how great our God is ... our Abba ... our real Father. It should also remind us that just as we had daddy issues, they too had their daddy issues. Our fathers became who they were because of their fathers. And our fathers’ fathers became who they were because of their fathers. It’s a never-ending cycle that goes on and on.
We have to break this cycle. We can’t let the next generations in our family suffer the same way we did. It has to stop from us. If we don’t, then our daddy issues will be passed on to our children. And the only way we can stop this is to raise our children in the ways of the Lord. We have to use the Word of God as the only standard for raising our kids; otherwise we will fail just as our fathers did.
And if you haven’t released forgiveness to your dad, you better do it now. It doesn’t matter how you feel. What matters is you obey God in this area. Once you release forgiveness, the control of your dad over you will be gone. You may not feel it right away but eventually you will. This doesn’t mean though that you will not remember those issues every now and then, just like what happened to me and my husband recently. However, when you remember it, you will not feel the pain or anger anymore. It may still hurt but it is the kind of pain that goes with healing.
Another thing you need to do is to break bondages and generational curses. These may be the spirit of control, sexual abuse, lust, alcoholism, addiction, neglect, and any kind of spirit associated with your dad that affected you negatively. All you need to do is say ... IN THE NAME OF JESUS, I BREAK ALL GENERATIONAL CURSES THAT HAVE BEEN PASSED ON TO OUR FAMILY. I BREAK THE BONDAGE OF ________. I COMMAND THESE SPIRITS TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW, NEVER TO RETURN. I DECLARE A CLEAN SLATE FOR MY LIFE AND MY FAMILY’S LIFE.
I suggest you write down all the bondages and curses that you need to break before you even start this declaration.
Lastly, if your dad is still alive, I encourage you to talk to him, whether over the phone, in person, email, or letter. Let him know how grateful you are for having a dad like him, and that there is a reason why God chose him to be your dad. Tell him that you love him. And if he hasn’t received Jesus as his Lord and Savior, now is the best time to tell him of God’s great love. Just like you, your dad needs healing too. He needs Jesus.
These daddy issues, no matter how we brush them off, and no matter how we say that we have forgiven and forgotten, will always be with us. It will always remind us of our fathers’ shortcomings and how frail they were and still are, so that we can see more than ever how great our God is ... our Abba ... our real Father. It should also remind us that just as we had daddy issues, they too had their daddy issues. Our fathers became who they were because of their fathers. And our fathers’ fathers became who they were because of their fathers. It’s a never-ending cycle that goes on and on.
We have to break this cycle. We can’t let the next generations in our family suffer the same way we did. It has to stop from us. If we don’t, then our daddy issues will be passed on to our children. And the only way we can stop this is to raise our children in the ways of the Lord. We have to use the Word of God as the only standard for raising our kids; otherwise we will fail just as our fathers did.
And if you haven’t released forgiveness to your dad, you better do it now. It doesn’t matter how you feel. What matters is you obey God in this area. Once you release forgiveness, the control of your dad over you will be gone. You may not feel it right away but eventually you will. This doesn’t mean though that you will not remember those issues every now and then, just like what happened to me and my husband recently. However, when you remember it, you will not feel the pain or anger anymore. It may still hurt but it is the kind of pain that goes with healing.
Another thing you need to do is to break bondages and generational curses. These may be the spirit of control, sexual abuse, lust, alcoholism, addiction, neglect, and any kind of spirit associated with your dad that affected you negatively. All you need to do is say ... IN THE NAME OF JESUS, I BREAK ALL GENERATIONAL CURSES THAT HAVE BEEN PASSED ON TO OUR FAMILY. I BREAK THE BONDAGE OF ________. I COMMAND THESE SPIRITS TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW, NEVER TO RETURN. I DECLARE A CLEAN SLATE FOR MY LIFE AND MY FAMILY’S LIFE.
I suggest you write down all the bondages and curses that you need to break before you even start this declaration.
Lastly, if your dad is still alive, I encourage you to talk to him, whether over the phone, in person, email, or letter. Let him know how grateful you are for having a dad like him, and that there is a reason why God chose him to be your dad. Tell him that you love him. And if he hasn’t received Jesus as his Lord and Savior, now is the best time to tell him of God’s great love. Just like you, your dad needs healing too. He needs Jesus.
Lisa Maki is the founder, publisher, and editor of God'z Gurlz. More about Lisa at ...
http://www.godzgurlz.com/regular-contributors.html
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