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TEENS

ENJOY YOUR YOUTH


NOVEMBER 2012
by Lisa Maki

One of the funniest and craziest things I’ve observed is a young girl trying to look old and an old lady trying to look young.  I mean, come on ... come to think of it.  These older ladies trying to look young are the same younger people years ago who were trying to look 18 when they were 12. 

I see young people everywhere, as young as 12, heavily made up and dressed like a Victoria’s Secret model.  And girl, if you’re one of them, let me tell you that you will grow old faster.  You will look 40 by the time you’re 20.  And when you’re older, you will realize that you’ve missed your childhood.  Too bad you won’t be able to bring back time.

I remember that movie of Jennifer Gardner, 13 going 30.  I just love that movie.  I don’t remember how many times I’ve watched it.  This is a classic story of a girl wanting to be 30 when she was only 13, and true enough, her dream came true.  She woke up and she was 30.  Later on she realized that she missed a great part of her childhood and that she didn’t want to be an adult yet.  And of course, as most movies have a happy ending, she got what she wished for. 

Though I didn’t want to be 30 when I was 13, I surely wanted to be older when I was 12.  I dressed up and acted like the 18 year old girls that I saw.  And of course, I became very noticeable (which is what girls like) and by the time I was 14 I had a serious boyfriend.  At 19 I got pregnant and became a mother.  Years later I realized that I missed a big chunk of my youth.  My friend used to tease me and say:  “You jumped from childhood to adulthood”. 

Let us examine and pick apart the reasons why young girls want to look older.  I should know because I’ve been there. 

1.      Girls want to look hot because that’s what most guys prefer.

Most guys surely prefer hot girls, but these hot girls won’t look hot anymore in just a few years.  Honestly, the hotter girls in school back then are the ones who look old now.  But the ones who weren’t even noticeable are the ones who look hot.  Why?  Because if you try looking hot as young as 12 years old, then you’ll be putting on make-up, wearing high heels, and probably even smoke and drink.  By the time you’re in your early twenties, your face will look dry, you’ll have some skin problems, posture problems, foot problems, back problems, and so on and so forth.

Would you rather look hot now and un-hot later on, or would you rather be your age now and still look really good at 40 or even 50?

Besides, the only man you should be looking hot for is your future husband.  It is not for every other man.  So why show the guys how hot you are?  Don’t waste it on them.

2.      Girls want to be independent, away from their parents, so they can do whatever they want.

I used to feel this way.  I couldn’t wait to leave my parents’ house so I can just do everything I want to do.  But the opposite happened.  I got pregnant and had to stay with my parents for several years.  It made matters worse.  Instead of having the freedom to do what I wanted, I got stuck not only in my parents’ house but in a marriage and motherhood I wasn’t prepared for.

3.      Girls want to be in control of their lives. 

I remember how envious I used to feel about older girls who had their own thing going on.  I wanted the same thing for myself.  I dreamed of traveling the world and making lots of money.  So at a very young age I started acting like I knew what I was doing.  I was trying to grow up so fast.  It led me farther and farther away from my dream. 

4.      Girls want to be like their moms and have their own husbands.

As early as ten years old I was already pretending to be a Mom to my doll, and waiting for my husband.  Every girl has this dream of becoming a Mom someday, and married for that matter.  This is one reason why a lot of young girls get into relationships very early in life.  Unfortunately, when we are too young, our hearts and minds are not even prepared yet to experience the pain that goes with loving someone.  And when a young girl gets pregnant, she is not physically, emotionally, and mentally prepared to be a Mom.

Girls ... all these reasons will work against you more than for you.  There is really no reason for you to rush.  You are going to grow old anyways.  And if you hasten to grow up, then by the time you’re there you’ll realize how much time you’ve lost and you will miss it but never be able to go back to it.

You can look good just by being yourself.  In fact, the most beautiful women are those who are naturally beautiful without make-up.  I know that make-up sounds fun and I am not telling you not to even use it.  However, limit it to some powder, a little lipstick, a hint of blush perhaps, and some mascara if you want.  Honestly, most guys still prefer girls without too much make-up.  They are actually scared of those with heavy make-ups because it seems like you’re hiding something.

Don’t try to dress up beyond your age.  It looks so awkward.  I remember seeing all these girls in heavy make-up, tight short dresses, and high stilettos on our son’s 9th grade graduation.  They looked like kids trying to wear mom’s clothes.  Most of them didn’t even know how to walk in high heels.  One girl even fell off the stairs and eventually took off her shoes.  It looked pathetic to me. 

Again, you don’t have to rush.  You’ll get there someday ... when you’re more ready and when it will look better on you. 

On a final note, I want you to meditate on these Scriptures below from Ecclesiastes 3.

To everything there is a season, and a time for every matter or purpose under heaven:

A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted,

A time to kill and a time to heal, a time to break down and a time to build up,

A time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,

A time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,

A time to get and a time to lose, a time to keep and a time to cast away,

A time to rend and a time to sew, a time to keep silence and a time to speak,

A time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

What profit remains for the worker from his toil?

I have seen the painful labor and exertion and miserable business which God has given to the sons of men with which to exercise and busy themselves.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

There is a time for everything.  And now is the time for you to be young.  In God’s perfect time, everything will be beautiful.  But if you go against His time, things may not turn out beautiful for you. 

Enjoy your youth while you still have it.

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