GOD HATES DIVORCE
JANUARY 2013
by Lisa Maki
I used to justify divorce when the ground is Biblical. I myself am a product of divorce. My marriage to my ex-husband was annulled (we don’t have divorce in the country where I come from) before I surrendered my life to Jesus. He already had a wife and a kid when I got saved. There was no way of getting back together.
In 1 Corinthians 7:20 Paul said: Everyone should remain after God calls him in the station or condition of life in which the summons found him.
If you are in the same situation as I was or you were in the same situation too, God will not tell you to go back to your ex-husband. In fact, Deuteronomy 24:4 says: Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife after she is defiled. For that is an abomination before the Lord; and you shall not bring guilt upon the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance. This means that if you get back with your ex, who already divorced you, going back to him is an abomination before the Lord.
I remember how a brother in the Lord who I don’t know personally attacked me about this divorce thing saying that I am in sin. You don’t have to be spiritual to understand how stupid it will be if I, (who is now happily married to my husband), goes back to my ex-husband (who is happily married to his wife and they have two beautiful kids) and remarries him. This would mean divorcing my now-husband and he divorcing his now-wife. That is the stupidest thing ever.
So if you got divorced before you were saved, or even after you got saved, and you have remarried, then there’s nothing you can do about your past. If you haven’t repented about your divorce, repent now and be forgiven.
There are different Biblical grounds for divorce that I want to discuss with you. The first one is when your unbelieving husband decides to leave you.
And if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she should not leave or divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is set apart by union with his consecrated (set-apart) wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart and separated through union with her consecrated husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is they are prepared for God. But if the unbelieving partner [actually] leaves, let him do so; in such [cases the remaining] brother or sister is not morally bound. But God has called us to peace (1 Cor. 7:13-15).
Not because your husband is an unbeliever gives you the freedom to divorce him. This Scripture above says that because of you, for the sake of your children, your husband is sanctified. I know this can be very challenging but if you remain faithful to God and His Word, eventually your husband will come to know Jesus and will get saved.
In lieu of this, let me share another Scripture with you.
In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives (1 Peter 3:1).
This Scripture is for wives with unbelieving husbands or those whose husbands claim to be Christians but are not really strict followers of the Word of God. This Scripture says that the wives need to submit to them, even if they are not saved. Of course, if your husband is telling you to do things against the Word of God such as violating the law or doing perverted things, then you are not required to submit to what he is telling you to do. However, this does not mean that you will not submit to him in other things.
If your unbelieving husband leaves you because of your faith, according to 1 Corinthians 15 you are released from him.
The next Biblical ground for divorce that I want to discuss with you is adultery.
But I tell you, Whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery (Matthew 5:32).
And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not One make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God make you two] one? Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth (Malachi 2:15).
Though God hates divorce, He also hates faithlessness. Sexual immorality is one of the sins that lead people to hell. The only place where God allows sex is in marriage, and it is between a man and a woman. You will notice though that it is not just adultery that is being referred to in Matthew 5:32 but sexual immorality in itself.
Hebrews 13:4 says: Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the immoral and adulterous.
Sexual immorality, which includes adultery, is a sin against God more than against your spouse. God detests it. And we all know that adultery does not happen overnight. It starts with a little flirting here and there, or a husband spending more time with a female co-worker and opening up to her about his marital problems. It can even start on facebook, when a husband starts connecting with an ex-girlfriend or any other woman. The devil is cunning and will do anything to let your husband fall in this area.
My greatest ground for the annulment of my marriage to my ex-husband is adultery. Though I didn’t have any physical evidence, I knew in my heart that he was. People told me about it. And he cheated on me several times before our marriage. After the annulment of our marriage, I found out more about his philandering. I was right all those times. Of course I didn’t care then whether my grounds were Biblical or not. I didn’t even know my Bible. I was a lost soul.
Though adultery is a strong Biblical ground for divorce, God still hates it. I know a lady whose husband cheated on her and she already filed for divorce. One day, in a church service, the pastor/prophet who didn’t know her personally and who didn’t know about her situation approached her and said: God doesn’t want you to divorce your husband. That’s when she knew that she had to take her husband back. It was not easy for her. There were lots of hurts and wounds. Yet, she followed and obeyed God. Then God moved in her marriage. healed her, and gave them a second child.
The last Biblical ground for divorce that I want to share with you is domestic violence, and here is a Scripture to prove it.
... and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth ... I hate him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence (Malachi 2:15-16).
God hates divorce as much as He hates domestic violence. It is detestable in His eyes.
So many women have mistakenly thought that I am not against domestic violence just because I preach about preserving the marriage. I am so against domestic violence and would advice a woman who is suffering from such to find safety somewhere else. However, I also know that women can exaggerate things most of the time and can really provoke their husbands. I myself have provoked my husband a few times, during the early part of my marriage. I even told him to hit me, and praise God he didn’t. A sister in the Lord and strong woman of God confided to me one time that she had a fight with her husband where she got so hysterical. Her husband tried to stop her and in effect she fell on the floor. She then accused her husband of physically hurting her. When she finally got back to her senses, and out of her flesh, she realized that it was the devil wanting her to call the cops on him, when in reality, he didn’t even do anything. He was just trying to stop her.
If your husband has anger problems, be careful not to provoke him any further. If he is beating you up for no reason, then get out of your house and call the cops on him. But please, before you do any drastic move, be sure that you have cried out your most intense prayer to God. No matter how violent your husband is, he will never be able to touch you if you are covered by God’s protection. This is why the devil wants you outside of God’s presence. He wants to stir you up in your flesh so you will react in the flesh and therefore not have any spiritual protection. Believe me, demons will flee if you start praying and worshiping God in the midst of your husband’s violent temper. I have witnessed this for myself and have heard so many similar testimonies.
So again, the three Biblical grounds for divorce are: If your unbelieving husband leaves you, adultery, and domestic violence. However, given all these grounds, God still said in His Word that He hates divorce.
For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate] (Malachi 2:16).
Sad to say, many Christians are using these Biblical grounds as an excuse to leave their spouses. Wives divorce their husbands over porn addiction, calling it adultery. Some leave their husbands just because he got so mad, forgetting that they were the ones who provoked their husbands. Others use the “unbelieving husband” part as a reason for divorce.
Divorce should be the last option. In fact, it shouldn’t even be an option. If we look at the bigger picture, it is the devil who wishes destruction on marriages. He is just waiting for more Christian divorces to happen. Every Christian divorce weakens the institution of marriage, giving more power to the enemy. He is already gaining ground through gay marriages.
Don’t turn over your marriage to the devil. God can restore any marriage, no matter how broken it is. Please, no matter what your situation is, even if you have grounds for divorce; give your marriage a chance. Let God save it for you. Don’t walk away from it. Get down on your knees and pray (check my other article on WIVES...GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES). If you have to stay away from your husband because of domestic violence issues or some sexual perversion, do so ... but stay married to him. Even if he is in jail or prison, stay married to him. Wait for God to move. Don’t give up too soon.
In 1 Corinthians 7:20 Paul said: Everyone should remain after God calls him in the station or condition of life in which the summons found him.
If you are in the same situation as I was or you were in the same situation too, God will not tell you to go back to your ex-husband. In fact, Deuteronomy 24:4 says: Then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife after she is defiled. For that is an abomination before the Lord; and you shall not bring guilt upon the land which the Lord your God gives you as an inheritance. This means that if you get back with your ex, who already divorced you, going back to him is an abomination before the Lord.
I remember how a brother in the Lord who I don’t know personally attacked me about this divorce thing saying that I am in sin. You don’t have to be spiritual to understand how stupid it will be if I, (who is now happily married to my husband), goes back to my ex-husband (who is happily married to his wife and they have two beautiful kids) and remarries him. This would mean divorcing my now-husband and he divorcing his now-wife. That is the stupidest thing ever.
So if you got divorced before you were saved, or even after you got saved, and you have remarried, then there’s nothing you can do about your past. If you haven’t repented about your divorce, repent now and be forgiven.
There are different Biblical grounds for divorce that I want to discuss with you. The first one is when your unbelieving husband decides to leave you.
And if any woman has an unbelieving husband and he consents to live with her, she should not leave or divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is set apart by union with his consecrated (set-apart) wife, and the unbelieving wife is set apart and separated through union with her consecrated husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is they are prepared for God. But if the unbelieving partner [actually] leaves, let him do so; in such [cases the remaining] brother or sister is not morally bound. But God has called us to peace (1 Cor. 7:13-15).
Not because your husband is an unbeliever gives you the freedom to divorce him. This Scripture above says that because of you, for the sake of your children, your husband is sanctified. I know this can be very challenging but if you remain faithful to God and His Word, eventually your husband will come to know Jesus and will get saved.
In lieu of this, let me share another Scripture with you.
In like manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them], so that even if any do not obey the Word [of God], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [godly] lives of their wives (1 Peter 3:1).
This Scripture is for wives with unbelieving husbands or those whose husbands claim to be Christians but are not really strict followers of the Word of God. This Scripture says that the wives need to submit to them, even if they are not saved. Of course, if your husband is telling you to do things against the Word of God such as violating the law or doing perverted things, then you are not required to submit to what he is telling you to do. However, this does not mean that you will not submit to him in other things.
If your unbelieving husband leaves you because of your faith, according to 1 Corinthians 15 you are released from him.
The next Biblical ground for divorce that I want to discuss with you is adultery.
But I tell you, Whoever dismisses and repudiates and divorces his wife, except on the grounds of unfaithfulness (sexual immorality), causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a woman who has been divorced commits adultery (Matthew 5:32).
And did not God make [you and your wife] one [flesh]? Did not One make you and preserve your spirit alive? And why [did God make you two] one? Because He sought a godly offspring [from your union]. Therefore take heed to yourselves, and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth (Malachi 2:15).
Though God hates divorce, He also hates faithlessness. Sexual immorality is one of the sins that lead people to hell. The only place where God allows sex is in marriage, and it is between a man and a woman. You will notice though that it is not just adultery that is being referred to in Matthew 5:32 but sexual immorality in itself.
Hebrews 13:4 says: Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the immoral and adulterous.
Sexual immorality, which includes adultery, is a sin against God more than against your spouse. God detests it. And we all know that adultery does not happen overnight. It starts with a little flirting here and there, or a husband spending more time with a female co-worker and opening up to her about his marital problems. It can even start on facebook, when a husband starts connecting with an ex-girlfriend or any other woman. The devil is cunning and will do anything to let your husband fall in this area.
My greatest ground for the annulment of my marriage to my ex-husband is adultery. Though I didn’t have any physical evidence, I knew in my heart that he was. People told me about it. And he cheated on me several times before our marriage. After the annulment of our marriage, I found out more about his philandering. I was right all those times. Of course I didn’t care then whether my grounds were Biblical or not. I didn’t even know my Bible. I was a lost soul.
Though adultery is a strong Biblical ground for divorce, God still hates it. I know a lady whose husband cheated on her and she already filed for divorce. One day, in a church service, the pastor/prophet who didn’t know her personally and who didn’t know about her situation approached her and said: God doesn’t want you to divorce your husband. That’s when she knew that she had to take her husband back. It was not easy for her. There were lots of hurts and wounds. Yet, she followed and obeyed God. Then God moved in her marriage. healed her, and gave them a second child.
The last Biblical ground for divorce that I want to share with you is domestic violence, and here is a Scripture to prove it.
... and let no one deal treacherously and be faithless to the wife of his youth ... I hate him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence (Malachi 2:15-16).
God hates divorce as much as He hates domestic violence. It is detestable in His eyes.
So many women have mistakenly thought that I am not against domestic violence just because I preach about preserving the marriage. I am so against domestic violence and would advice a woman who is suffering from such to find safety somewhere else. However, I also know that women can exaggerate things most of the time and can really provoke their husbands. I myself have provoked my husband a few times, during the early part of my marriage. I even told him to hit me, and praise God he didn’t. A sister in the Lord and strong woman of God confided to me one time that she had a fight with her husband where she got so hysterical. Her husband tried to stop her and in effect she fell on the floor. She then accused her husband of physically hurting her. When she finally got back to her senses, and out of her flesh, she realized that it was the devil wanting her to call the cops on him, when in reality, he didn’t even do anything. He was just trying to stop her.
If your husband has anger problems, be careful not to provoke him any further. If he is beating you up for no reason, then get out of your house and call the cops on him. But please, before you do any drastic move, be sure that you have cried out your most intense prayer to God. No matter how violent your husband is, he will never be able to touch you if you are covered by God’s protection. This is why the devil wants you outside of God’s presence. He wants to stir you up in your flesh so you will react in the flesh and therefore not have any spiritual protection. Believe me, demons will flee if you start praying and worshiping God in the midst of your husband’s violent temper. I have witnessed this for myself and have heard so many similar testimonies.
So again, the three Biblical grounds for divorce are: If your unbelieving husband leaves you, adultery, and domestic violence. However, given all these grounds, God still said in His Word that He hates divorce.
For the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I hate divorce and marital separation and him who covers his garment [his wife] with violence. Therefore keep a watch upon your spirit [that it may be controlled by My Spirit], that you deal not treacherously and faithlessly [with your marriage mate] (Malachi 2:16).
Sad to say, many Christians are using these Biblical grounds as an excuse to leave their spouses. Wives divorce their husbands over porn addiction, calling it adultery. Some leave their husbands just because he got so mad, forgetting that they were the ones who provoked their husbands. Others use the “unbelieving husband” part as a reason for divorce.
Divorce should be the last option. In fact, it shouldn’t even be an option. If we look at the bigger picture, it is the devil who wishes destruction on marriages. He is just waiting for more Christian divorces to happen. Every Christian divorce weakens the institution of marriage, giving more power to the enemy. He is already gaining ground through gay marriages.
Don’t turn over your marriage to the devil. God can restore any marriage, no matter how broken it is. Please, no matter what your situation is, even if you have grounds for divorce; give your marriage a chance. Let God save it for you. Don’t walk away from it. Get down on your knees and pray (check my other article on WIVES...GET DOWN ON YOUR KNEES). If you have to stay away from your husband because of domestic violence issues or some sexual perversion, do so ... but stay married to him. Even if he is in jail or prison, stay married to him. Wait for God to move. Don’t give up too soon.
Lisa Maki is the founder, publisher, and editor of God'z Gurlz. More about Lisa at ...
http://www.godzgurlz.com/regular-contributors.html
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