GOD'Z GURLZ <br />Bible-based webmag for women
  • Home
    • About Us >
      • Time for a Change
      • More about Lisa Maki
      • I Love You
      • Core Values
    • Marriage & Relationships >
      • THE WIFE: THE ARMOUR-BEARER >
        • THE ARMOUR-BEARER WIFE: Her Biggest Stronghold
        • THE ARMOUR-BEARER WIFE: REBUILDING THE WALL
        • The Armour-Bearer Wife: The King-Maker
      • How Long Should I Fight For My Marriage
      • Marriage: A Breeding Place For Miracles
      • MISTRESS TO BRIDE
      • Sex Before Marriage
      • AVOIDING FORNICATION
      • TEN MISTAKES SINGLE WOMEN OF GOD MAKE
      • Divorce and Remarriage
      • Respect and Guard the Marriage, Please
      • Do Not Sweat The Small Stuff In Marriage
      • Becoming One
      • My Marriage was God's Perfect Will
      • If Only
      • Don't Cross The Line
      • To Guard or Not To Guard
      • Soul Mates - Sole Mates
      • Being Married To A Visionary
      • One Team
      • Long-Distance Love: Not for the Faint of Heart
      • Your Husband Is Cheating On You
      • Single Mom's Journey
      • Understanding A Woman's Insecurities
      • God's Bigger Plan For Your Marriage
      • How To Deal With A Controlling Husband
      • Laying Down Your Life For Your Spouse
      • The Leader Wife
      • What I've Learned From My Husband
      • Daddy Issues
      • Cheat-Proof Your Marriage
      • Don't Reverse The Roles
      • Fighting For Purity
      • I Have The Best Husband
      • Dealing With Your Husband's Past
      • Wives ... ATTENTION!
      • Dealing With An Angry Husband
      • Get Down On Your Knees
      • God Hates Divorce!
      • How My Wife's Submission Changed Me
      • A Smile That Can Launch A Thousand Ships
      • Match-Maker
      • Single Mom Gets Married
      • Newly Married? The First Critical Years
      • Warrior Bride
      • Women Are Wiser
      • Pursue Me!
      • Worldly Friendships Vs. Godly Friendships
      • Bite Your Tongue
      • Spiritual Than Thou
      • My Career As A Help-Meet
      • A Good Help-Meet Is Good In Bed
      • Are You Sure You're Ready For Marriage
      • Beware Of Waiting For Your Promised Man
      • Talking To Kids About Sex
      • Embracing Your Call As A Help-Meet
      • Equal Rights?
      • I Feel So Distant
      • God Knows Who You Need
      • How Do I Know If He/She Is The Right One For Me?
      • Soul Mate - Sole Mate
      • It's Not About You
      • With All Due Respect
      • I Told You So
      • Marriage Is A Healing Ground
      • You'll Never Know What Marriage Is Until You Get There
      • Divide and Conquer
      • Father-Daughter Connection
    • Heart to Heart >
      • Are you a Queen?
      • Overcoming Depression
      • One Blow After The Next
      • Why Worry?
      • When Your Heart Gets Numb
      • Hurt Gone Deep
      • Let It Hurt!
      • I Chose Jesus, But Why Am I Hurting?
      • Onion Skin
      • Test Of Patience
      • Battle of the Minds
      • You Need Time To Heal
      • Waking Up From A Bad Dream
      • Voices From The Past
      • Don't Let Anyone Steal That Joy
      • Beat That Bad Day
      • Cross-Over
      • A Demon Called Doubt
      • Are You Sure You Are Ready To Change?
      • Learning To Trust Again
    • Inspirational >
      • Coming to Terms
      • I Repent!
      • The Unexpected Storm
      • God is a God of Process
      • Above all ... LOVE
      • When God Takes You Out Of Your Comfort Zone
      • I Don't Understand
      • You Don't Have A Clue
      • Where The Paths Meet
      • Did You Pass The Test?
      • Let Go Of That Crutch!
      • There's Something About Mary
      • Honing The Gift Of Discernment
      • God Is More Stubborn Than You
    • Teens >
      • Stop Looking At Me
      • Why Young Girls Fall For Older Men
      • I Wanna Be Cool
      • Teen Sex
      • Do You See Me?
      • I Hate My Mom/Dad
      • Enjoy Your Youth
      • My Boyfriend Is Cheating On Me
      • Teen Mom
      • Nobody Understands Me
      • The Kind Of Guy Who Deserves You
      • The Day I Ran Away From Home
      • Teen Prostitute Receives Jesus
      • Bad Girl vs. Good Girl
      • Why Do I Love Too Much?
      • The Day I Lost My Virginity
      • Hurt-Proof Your Heart
    • Business & Leadership >
      • Communicate More Effectively
      • Successful Negotiations
      • Managing Time Wisely
      • Mistakes Creative Writers Make
      • Communicating Your Vision
      • Guard Your Vision
      • Test Of Leadership
      • Starting A Business
      • Unemployed?
      • Promote Your Business Effectively
      • Work From Home
      • People Are Watching You
      • A Resume That Will Get You That Job
      • Organize Your Thoughts
    • Expose' >
      • Christian Anti-Semitism
      • The Awakening of a Catholic
      • Diary Of A Mistress
      • That Evil Spirit Named "CONTROL"
      • Losing God's Anointing
      • False Assumptions
      • Acceptance or Compromise
      • Burnt Out!
      • Teen Scandal
      • Warning To Married Couples
      • HIV and Condoms
      • Death Of Innocent Children
    • Testify! >
      • ADDICTED TO PORN
      • He Visited Me
      • He Delivered Me
    • Poetry >
      • Mystery
      • Hurts
      • You Can Do It!
    • Delicioso! >
      • Baked Rotini Pasta with Meat Sauce
      • Chicken Fettuccini
    • Meet the Lover of Our Souls
    • Teen Corner
    • Torah Teaching >
      • For Wives >
        • The First Marriage
        • Princess Sarah
        • She Knew
        • Love At First Sight
        • She Saved His Life
      • The Feasts >
        • Keep The SABBATH DAY Holy
        • The Feasts of the Lord
        • Let's Celebrate Passover
        • Rosh Hashana
        • Days of Awe
        • Yom Kippur
      • Testimony >
        • Love Is Lovelier ... The Second Time Around
        • How I Got Into The Messianic Movement
        • My Jewish Jesus
      • Jewish Feasts >
        • Do Not Flatter Yourself
        • Why I Am Celebrating Hanukkah and not Christmas
      • Others >
        • Getting To Know YESHUA
        • Bringing Out, Bringing In
        • Blinded By Despair
        • How God Deals With Those He Truly Trusts
        • Taking Over What Is Yours
        • How God Promises
        • Are We Ready For Our Promised Land?
  • New Articles
    • ME TOO
    • BREAKING CHAINS
    • ANXIETY IS REAL
    • The CHAMELEON spirit
    • Pour Your Water Onto Me
    • When Being Unproductive
    • You Can't Fix Him
    • I Can't Hear
    • I Was Raped!
    • How Well Do You Know Your Purpose?
    • My Secret Garden
    • The Flow of His Presence
    • Love Covers a Multitude of Sins
  • PROPHETIC
    • THE YEAR 2019
    • MARCHING IN
    • THE COMING KINGDOM
    • Flowing in His Circle
    • The Whirlwind
    • Too Long in the Wilderness
  • DEVOTIONAL
  • Warrior Prayer
    • Salvation Prayer
    • Submission Prayer
    • Daily Prayer
    • Rules of Engagement Prayer
    • Entering Warfare Prayer
  • SUPPORT US
  • Online Counseling
  • Archives
    • July 2012
    • August 2012
    • September 2012
    • October 2012
    • November 2012
    • December 2012
    • January 2013
    • Previous Articles >
      • The Best Christmas Gift Not In A Box
      • Is Santa God?
      • Why Are You Celebrating Christmas?
    • February 2013
    • March 2013 >
      • video
  • Contact Information

HOW LONG SHOULD I FIGHT FOR MY MARRIAGE?
~ LISA MAKI ~


Picture
This is one of the most common question I’ve gotten from women I counsel or those who come to me for answers. It is indeed a tough situation, more so for a woman whose husband left her for another woman, or for a woman whose husband already made up his mind to file for divorce. It even becomes more difficult when there are little children involved.

If you are in this situation, I want you to understand something: you are in an emotional haywire that makes it hard for you to think logically. Your heart is the one dictating things to you for now, because it is the one badly affected. 

I want you, even for this short time of reading this article, to get out of that emotion, and let your brain do the thinking and listening. Drop any hurt, irritation, anger, confusion, fear, or whatever negative emotions you have for your husband and your situation.

Let us focus on your “self” now and look at yourself as if you are another person looking at “you”.
Picture
While doing this exercise, each time you feel something bad against your husband and marriage, drop it quickly and refocus on yourself. This is about you, and not about someone else. And no matter how painful this exercise can get, focus on “you”. Do not point to others, or what others will say. This is about “you”.

Ask yourself these questions, one at a time. Do not proceed to the next until you have answered the one prior to that.

  • What do I really feel about my marriage?
  • Is this marriage worth saving? (Just yes or no)
  • What am I scared about when it comes to losing my marriage?
  • If my husband does not change but decides to stay with me, will I settle with that?
  • What is the best thing that can happen to me if my marriage fails?

Your honest answers to these questions reveal what is really in your heart. These are the issues that God wants to expose and deal with, so you can be free. 
Picture
God loves you and will do anything to bring you to Him or back to Him. Most wives, including myself, have placed their marriage and husbands above God, without even realizing it. In fact, our fear of having a failed marriage is most of the time related to this idolatry that has taken place. It is hard to admit, but it is true.
 
“So, are you trying to say that God caused my marriage to be this way?”, you may ask me. My answer is, “yes” and “no”. Yes, because God permits certain things for our own good, to achieve His greater purpose, which we will never see while we are going through trials. No, because there are certain consequences of wrong choices and decisions we’ve made, and even of sin, that God can’t stop. It is a law of sowing and reaping. For instance, getting married to an unbeliever when the Bible tells us “not to be equally yoked with unbelievers”, is disobedience to God, and therefore a sin. The consequences to this is something God can’t stop. However, He will use the consequence to build your character, stretch your faith, and bring you closer to Him.

Picture
The mere fact that you are asking that question, “how long should I fight for my marriage” means that you are all worked up. You are restless. You are not seeing answers and you are wondering if you should pray more, fast more, or worship more. The answer is not in your “works” but in your sincere heart for God.
 
Are you praying to get your marriage back, or are you praying because you love the Lord? These are two different motives. Are you praying for your husband to change, for your sake; or are you praying that your husband experiences the love of God, so he too can be brought to that place in His presence that will make you ask for nothing more?

Picture
What about drop yourself or your marriage when praying? What about pray to simply minister to the Lord? What about drop all your concerns about your marriage when praying? What about simply thank and worship God, with no mention of any problems you have? Is that hard to do?
 
When you begin to go back to that place of worship, when it is all about Him, when it is all about JESUS CHRIST, then you will be surprised at the outcome you will have. All of a sudden you are not scared anymore. Suddenly, you don’t care anymore what happens to your marriage. Suddenly, your prayers for your husband changes.
 
You will not be asking anymore, “How long should I pray for my husband and my marriage?” Instead, you will look forward to and crave for your time alone with Jesus Christ, your real husband. You will long to be in His presence. You will desire to spend more time with Him.

Picture
His love will begin to overwhelm you, healing you, delivering you. This love will overflow from you, making your husband marvel at what is going on with you. This love will make you love your husband with the love of Jesus, and not with your own love that can be mired with your own issues. This love will lead your husband to Jesus.
 
And when this begins to happen, things will line up in your marriage effortlessly. You will not even be amazed at your husband, but with God Himself. 

Picture
I ask you, my fellow Christian wives, to go back to your first love, Jesus Christ. Set aside a time with Him every single day. Make it a regular schedule, a date with Jesus. Stick to the same schedule each day, if you can. This will make you develop the habit. Find a special corner or place in your home where you can be alone with Him, even if it is just a chair. Decorate your spot and make it inviting for you to come to each day. Start your time with Him with some worship music. Instrumental worship music helps me a lot. Thank Him. Worship Him. Then ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you. Open your Bible and let the Holy Spirit lead you and speak to you. 
The lover of your soul is waiting for you. Do not let Him wait too long. 
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.