I DON'T UNDERSTAND
March 2013
Lisa Maki
It is frustrating to go through one trial after the next. What is even more frustrating is when you don’t even understand what is going on. You try to figure it out but all it leads you to is a dead end. Then you’re back to square one, clueless as to what is happening. You feel like pulling your hair or hitting your head on the wall. You wail and cry and still you are not getting it. You groan and say, “What is going on God”?
This is a very difficult phase that none of us, followers of Jesus, is spared from. And it’s not as if it happens only one time in our entire life. Nope. It happens at different periods in our walk.
You feel trapped yet you can’t even proceed anywhere. It seems like God has closed all doors on you and yet no new doors are opening. You know you have to do something but you can’t even start anything. You serve God so hard expecting that He will reward you but nothing is changing. You fast and pray and seek for a revelation but He is quiet. Then just when you think that you are seeing some changes you realize that it is only an illusion. Feel me?
Well, Jeremiah the prophet expressed it perfectly. Read his very words from Jeremiah 15:15-18.
This is a very difficult phase that none of us, followers of Jesus, is spared from. And it’s not as if it happens only one time in our entire life. Nope. It happens at different periods in our walk.
You feel trapped yet you can’t even proceed anywhere. It seems like God has closed all doors on you and yet no new doors are opening. You know you have to do something but you can’t even start anything. You serve God so hard expecting that He will reward you but nothing is changing. You fast and pray and seek for a revelation but He is quiet. Then just when you think that you are seeing some changes you realize that it is only an illusion. Feel me?
Well, Jeremiah the prophet expressed it perfectly. Read his very words from Jeremiah 15:15-18.
You know where I am, God! Remember what I'm doing here! Take my side against my detractors. Don't stand back while they ruin me. Just look at the abuse I'm taking! When your words showed up, I ate them - swallowed them whole. What a feast! What delight I took in being yours, O God, God-of-the-Angel-Armies! I never joined the party crowd in their laughter and their fun. Led by you, I went off by myself. You'd filled me with indignation. Their sin had me seething. But why, why this chronic pain, this ever worsening wound and no healing in sight? You're nothing, God, but a mirage, a lovely oasis in the distance - and then nothing!
Doesn’t this make you feel better knowing that the Prophet Jeremiah went through the same thing and even called God a “mirage”? I mean, I have never seen or heard any more perfect description other than a “mirage”. It’s something you think you are seeing but it’s not really there. As I’ve said, it’s just an illusion.
Why does God allow this to happen to us and what does He say about it?
I believe that God allows us to go through these seasons for some or all of the following reasons: (1) to try and test us; (2) to teach us valuable lessons; (3) to humble us; (4) to make us hungry for Him; (5) to make us totally reliant on Him; and (6) and to make us fight for what is rightfully ours.
To try and test us
Psalm 7:9 says that our righteous God tries our hearts and emotions and thinking powers. Our true self comes out when we are tested. Really, it is easy to say we love God when things are going right for us; but when trials come will we still be able to say that we really love Him? When we have been trapped in a situation for the longest time and we don’t even understand what is going on, will we be able to exercise faith and still believe that He will deliver us?
The Israelites kept telling Moses that they will follow everything that God says but when their trials came – when they didn’t have food and water – they forgot about God so fast. They ended up complaining and grumbling and wishing they were back in Egypt.
Will you continue praising God? Will you continue trusting in Him? Will you continue thanking Him? Will you continue seeking for His perfect will? God is asking the same questions, which is why He is testing you.
To teach us valuable lessons
I’ve learned my best lessons in this walk through my waiting seasons ... those “neither here nor there” situations” ... those times when I also felt that God was just a mirage. At the time that I was going through it I didn’t realize how much I was learning. But now that they are behind me, I can look back and preach about those experiences and valuable lessons.
Those seasons sustain me in whatever similar trials I keep going through. All I have to do is look back to where I was and compare it to where I am now. Then I remember that this too shall pass and that I need it to learn something very valuable.
To humble us
What can be the best humbling place than being in a situation where we lose control over everything and we don’t even know what’s going on? Though we resist and struggle, we will eventually realize that our grumblings will not lead us anywhere. So we finally learn to humble ourselves before the Lord.
To make us hungry for Him
Our desperation makes us long for God more than ever. It may not lead to this place right away. We may complain, cry, wail, and wrestle with God but eventually we will get tired. That’s when we will feel so needy of Him.
I remember when I went through one of the toughest waiting times in my life ... when I was waiting to be with my husband. We were already married but he was in this country (U.S.) and I was in the Philippines waiting for my papers to be processed. It was a long wait, not knowing when. One day, after so much exhaustion, I told the Lord to leave me alone. I was so disappointed with God. The very next day (after forgetting that I told Him to leave me alone), I got hungry for Him and so I started praying. I felt so empty. I couldn’t feel the presence of God. I cried and asked Him why. That’s when He said, “You told me to leave you alone”. I humbly asked for His forgiveness and begged for His presence to fill me. I was so hungry for Him.
To make us totally reliant on Him
In our helplessness we become more reliant on God. When everything we’re holding on to are taken away from us, then we realize that there is nothing and no one to rely on but God.
I used to pride myself with the ability to make money. I was never without money. I was always able to find a way ... until God began to strip me off. First He took my business away from me. Then He took my ability to make money. He closed all doors for me – doors which used to be open. Every door I tried to open, God shut off. That’s when I began to rely on Him more than I’ve ever relied on anyone or anything in my entire life.
To make us fight for what is rightfully ours
Jacob wrestled with God out of his fear for his brother Esau and his desperation for a blessing. He told the Angel that he will not let go of Him until He declares blessings upon him. This for me is a great example of fighting for what is rightfully ours. And yet, it had to happen out of severe desperation.
The best spiritual fights I’ve fought in this walk were during these seasons of not understanding what was going on.
So what does God have to say about all these? Listen to His response to Jeremiah when he called Him a mirage.
"Take back those words, and I'll take you back. Then you'll stand tall before me. Use words truly and well. Don't stoop to cheap whining (Jeremiah 15:19).
Although God is not stopping us from crying out to Him and even getting disappointed with Him, He doesn’t want us to resort to cheap whining. As Proverbs 3:5 says:
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
Why does God allow this to happen to us and what does He say about it?
I believe that God allows us to go through these seasons for some or all of the following reasons: (1) to try and test us; (2) to teach us valuable lessons; (3) to humble us; (4) to make us hungry for Him; (5) to make us totally reliant on Him; and (6) and to make us fight for what is rightfully ours.
To try and test us
Psalm 7:9 says that our righteous God tries our hearts and emotions and thinking powers. Our true self comes out when we are tested. Really, it is easy to say we love God when things are going right for us; but when trials come will we still be able to say that we really love Him? When we have been trapped in a situation for the longest time and we don’t even understand what is going on, will we be able to exercise faith and still believe that He will deliver us?
The Israelites kept telling Moses that they will follow everything that God says but when their trials came – when they didn’t have food and water – they forgot about God so fast. They ended up complaining and grumbling and wishing they were back in Egypt.
Will you continue praising God? Will you continue trusting in Him? Will you continue thanking Him? Will you continue seeking for His perfect will? God is asking the same questions, which is why He is testing you.
To teach us valuable lessons
I’ve learned my best lessons in this walk through my waiting seasons ... those “neither here nor there” situations” ... those times when I also felt that God was just a mirage. At the time that I was going through it I didn’t realize how much I was learning. But now that they are behind me, I can look back and preach about those experiences and valuable lessons.
Those seasons sustain me in whatever similar trials I keep going through. All I have to do is look back to where I was and compare it to where I am now. Then I remember that this too shall pass and that I need it to learn something very valuable.
To humble us
What can be the best humbling place than being in a situation where we lose control over everything and we don’t even know what’s going on? Though we resist and struggle, we will eventually realize that our grumblings will not lead us anywhere. So we finally learn to humble ourselves before the Lord.
To make us hungry for Him
Our desperation makes us long for God more than ever. It may not lead to this place right away. We may complain, cry, wail, and wrestle with God but eventually we will get tired. That’s when we will feel so needy of Him.
I remember when I went through one of the toughest waiting times in my life ... when I was waiting to be with my husband. We were already married but he was in this country (U.S.) and I was in the Philippines waiting for my papers to be processed. It was a long wait, not knowing when. One day, after so much exhaustion, I told the Lord to leave me alone. I was so disappointed with God. The very next day (after forgetting that I told Him to leave me alone), I got hungry for Him and so I started praying. I felt so empty. I couldn’t feel the presence of God. I cried and asked Him why. That’s when He said, “You told me to leave you alone”. I humbly asked for His forgiveness and begged for His presence to fill me. I was so hungry for Him.
To make us totally reliant on Him
In our helplessness we become more reliant on God. When everything we’re holding on to are taken away from us, then we realize that there is nothing and no one to rely on but God.
I used to pride myself with the ability to make money. I was never without money. I was always able to find a way ... until God began to strip me off. First He took my business away from me. Then He took my ability to make money. He closed all doors for me – doors which used to be open. Every door I tried to open, God shut off. That’s when I began to rely on Him more than I’ve ever relied on anyone or anything in my entire life.
To make us fight for what is rightfully ours
Jacob wrestled with God out of his fear for his brother Esau and his desperation for a blessing. He told the Angel that he will not let go of Him until He declares blessings upon him. This for me is a great example of fighting for what is rightfully ours. And yet, it had to happen out of severe desperation.
The best spiritual fights I’ve fought in this walk were during these seasons of not understanding what was going on.
So what does God have to say about all these? Listen to His response to Jeremiah when he called Him a mirage.
"Take back those words, and I'll take you back. Then you'll stand tall before me. Use words truly and well. Don't stoop to cheap whining (Jeremiah 15:19).
Although God is not stopping us from crying out to Him and even getting disappointed with Him, He doesn’t want us to resort to cheap whining. As Proverbs 3:5 says:
Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
Lisa Maki is the founder, publisher, and editor of God'z Gurlz. More about Lisa at ...
http://www.godzgurlz.com/regular-contributors.html
http://www.godzgurlz.com/regular-contributors.html
