Learning To Trust Again
August 2012
Trust is like a glass that is so fragile. A little crack can break it into tiny pieces that will make it impossible to glue back together without seeing traces of the crack.
One of the things that is so difficult to mend and repair is trust. Once it is broken, it is not easy to bring it back to where it was. Trust is earned, and it takes time before it is entrusted to someone simply because there are fears and doubts that need to be overcome. Once that bridge of uncertainty is crossed, then trust begins.
It is for this reason why it is so painful when this trust is broken. After overcoming your fears, believing in the person, and giving a part of your self, you are then lied to and cheated on. It is like a gift that you have saved so much for, only to be thrown into the garbage.
Losing your trust does not only apply to the person who has hurt you but to other people as well. When I lost my trust in my ex-husband, I lost my trust in all men. I started looking at men in the same way, that they are all going to hurt me and that when they say they love me, they don’t really mean it. My heart became numb and it built walls around it that grew higher and thicker over the years. It became my way of shielding myself from getting hurt any further.
It took the power of real love to break down my high and thick walls and to teach me how to trust again. All it took was for me to surrender my life to Jesus. It was then that I realized how hungry I was for love. He drew me so close to Him and I began to experience a love I have never known. He assured me that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He promised me that He will restore everything that the devil has stolen from me. I believed Him and didn’t even doubt for a moment. If He could die for me, then He can surely do anything for me. My trust in Jesus gave way to my healing, allowing me to start trusting others again.
This did not happen overnight. The healing process was painful because I had to confront a lot of things from my past that I didn’t even want to remember. It was difficult because I had to forgive those who have hurt me. It was trying because I had to let go of the so many questions I had in my mind that I needed answers for.
Forgiveness and letting go are the key factors to learning to trust again. You have to remember though that not because you have forgotten something painful means that you have forgiven and let go. This was exactly the case with me. God taught me that forgiving the people who have hurt me means releasing them to His care so that I will not give them anymore the power to hurt me. I’ve also learned that forgiveness that does not have to go with my feelings. I forgive out of obedience to God and not because I feel ready for it.
While it is easy to trust God because of His very nature, it is not as easy trusting men who will fail you. Again, this is something I have learned over time. It is not the person that I should trust but the Man who died for me. This is why it becomes easier to trust someone who is also surrendered to Jesus. And this is why being married to a man who truly loves God has helped a lot in healing me and in learning to trust again. Though he is far from perfect, he continues to submit to God’s Word and His perfect will, and therefore God continues to perfect that which concerns him. His love for God gives him the ability to love me the way God wants me to be loved.
Surrender to Jesus … Forgiveness … Letting Go … Trusting the Man who died for you … Being with someone who truly loves God … these are the factors that made me learn to trust again.
Only Jesus was able to put back the broken and smashed pieces of my heart, leaving not even a trace of crack on it.
~Lisa Maki~
One of the things that is so difficult to mend and repair is trust. Once it is broken, it is not easy to bring it back to where it was. Trust is earned, and it takes time before it is entrusted to someone simply because there are fears and doubts that need to be overcome. Once that bridge of uncertainty is crossed, then trust begins.
It is for this reason why it is so painful when this trust is broken. After overcoming your fears, believing in the person, and giving a part of your self, you are then lied to and cheated on. It is like a gift that you have saved so much for, only to be thrown into the garbage.
Losing your trust does not only apply to the person who has hurt you but to other people as well. When I lost my trust in my ex-husband, I lost my trust in all men. I started looking at men in the same way, that they are all going to hurt me and that when they say they love me, they don’t really mean it. My heart became numb and it built walls around it that grew higher and thicker over the years. It became my way of shielding myself from getting hurt any further.
It took the power of real love to break down my high and thick walls and to teach me how to trust again. All it took was for me to surrender my life to Jesus. It was then that I realized how hungry I was for love. He drew me so close to Him and I began to experience a love I have never known. He assured me that He will never leave me nor forsake me. He promised me that He will restore everything that the devil has stolen from me. I believed Him and didn’t even doubt for a moment. If He could die for me, then He can surely do anything for me. My trust in Jesus gave way to my healing, allowing me to start trusting others again.
This did not happen overnight. The healing process was painful because I had to confront a lot of things from my past that I didn’t even want to remember. It was difficult because I had to forgive those who have hurt me. It was trying because I had to let go of the so many questions I had in my mind that I needed answers for.
Forgiveness and letting go are the key factors to learning to trust again. You have to remember though that not because you have forgotten something painful means that you have forgiven and let go. This was exactly the case with me. God taught me that forgiving the people who have hurt me means releasing them to His care so that I will not give them anymore the power to hurt me. I’ve also learned that forgiveness that does not have to go with my feelings. I forgive out of obedience to God and not because I feel ready for it.
While it is easy to trust God because of His very nature, it is not as easy trusting men who will fail you. Again, this is something I have learned over time. It is not the person that I should trust but the Man who died for me. This is why it becomes easier to trust someone who is also surrendered to Jesus. And this is why being married to a man who truly loves God has helped a lot in healing me and in learning to trust again. Though he is far from perfect, he continues to submit to God’s Word and His perfect will, and therefore God continues to perfect that which concerns him. His love for God gives him the ability to love me the way God wants me to be loved.
Surrender to Jesus … Forgiveness … Letting Go … Trusting the Man who died for you … Being with someone who truly loves God … these are the factors that made me learn to trust again.
Only Jesus was able to put back the broken and smashed pieces of my heart, leaving not even a trace of crack on it.
~Lisa Maki~
