MY BOYFRIEND IS CHEATING ON ME
NOVEMBER 2012
by Lisa Maki
My boyfriend introduced me to this girl who was my age. She happened to be the girlfriend of my boyfriend’s very close friend. She invited me to a party at her house but my boyfriend advised me not to go because they were going to be very busy being the deejays of the night. So I didn’t go.
The next day, my best friend called me, asking me why I was not at the party. That’s when I knew that something was not right. So I asked her if she saw my boyfriend and she said that she saw him with a girl. It was so painful. That same day, a good guy friend of mine called me up on the phone and I had a gut feeling that he will tell me something I didn’t want to hear. True enough, it was about my boyfriend kissing another girl and even making out at that party. I felt so hurt, mad, and stupid, all at the same time.
I confronted my boyfriend about it and threatened to break up with him. He cried and apologized and I was stupid enough to give him another chance. I should have known that once a cheat, always a cheat.
This hurt never left me ... for a long, long, long time. As if this was not enough, he did it again, and this time he was more creative and dramatic for that matter. He came to me crying one day (or pretending to cry) and saying that our friends were accusing him of flirting with this girl when all he was doing was consoling her because of her very recent break-up with her boyfriend. (She happened to be the ex-girlfriend of my boyfriend’s cousin). Believe it or not, I took the bait and trusted that what he was telling me was the truth. Months later I discovered the whole truth. He was not only flirting with this girl but he promised her a lot of things. Do you want to know how I found out everything? I traced the phone no. of the girl and called her pretending to be someone else. Of course later on I admitted to her who I really was and she apologized.
Honestly, I was madder at my boyfriend than with this girl. For the second time, I threatened to leave him, but he won my heart again ... and this time, I also felt trapped because I found myself pregnant.
I was married to this same cheater a few months after I found out I was pregnant. I was a nervous wreck, paranoid with all his philandering. He continued to cheat on me although I didn’t bother to investigate further. My hurting heart became numb and cold after a while. I finally broke up with him after 10 years of married life. I could only take too much. It was meant to happen years ago.
You know what’s crazy? I discovered after we broke up that all throughout our marriage he was still communicating with that first girl he cheated me with (remember that girl at the party?). Our marriage was declared null and void as a result. He was never faithful to me, and for that reason I knew that he never loved me.
The point of the matter is ... if your boyfriend cheats on you, chances are he will continue to do so. I am not saying that there is no room for change. What I’m saying is that if he can have the guts to do it to you now, then what will stop him from doing it in the future? In the first place, you should not even be going through those hurts. You don’t deserve it. You deserve to be loved and treated rightly. This is the reason why I always use the Scripture, DO NOT AWAKEN LOVE UNTIL IT PLEASES.
Loving someone brings about certain pains and hurts that young people are not prepared for. And when you get exposed to these cheatings and betrayals early on in life, you will be carrying a lot of fears, doubts, and insecurities with you in your future relationships, and more so in your future marriage. Until now I still feel traces of insecurities in me, only because of what I was exposed to early in my life. Had I known God then and His Word, I would have been spared of what I’ve been through.
Women who have been through what I’ve been through can attest to the fact that insecurities are not fun. It can rob you of your joy and peace. It can hinder you from receiving the love that you rightfully deserve. It can make you push people away ... more so those who love you the most.
So if your boyfriend is cheating on you, get out of that relationship. Don’t be as stupid as me who just kept on accepting him back. My accepting him back encouraged him to cheat on me again and again and again.
My best advice for you is to enjoy your single life by gaining more friends, guys and girls alike, and staying unattached from any guy until the right time. And if you will ask me when the right time is, refer to my other article: http://www.godzgurlz.com/hurt-proof-your-heart.html#.UIoBWsXR5_Q.
The next day, my best friend called me, asking me why I was not at the party. That’s when I knew that something was not right. So I asked her if she saw my boyfriend and she said that she saw him with a girl. It was so painful. That same day, a good guy friend of mine called me up on the phone and I had a gut feeling that he will tell me something I didn’t want to hear. True enough, it was about my boyfriend kissing another girl and even making out at that party. I felt so hurt, mad, and stupid, all at the same time.
I confronted my boyfriend about it and threatened to break up with him. He cried and apologized and I was stupid enough to give him another chance. I should have known that once a cheat, always a cheat.
This hurt never left me ... for a long, long, long time. As if this was not enough, he did it again, and this time he was more creative and dramatic for that matter. He came to me crying one day (or pretending to cry) and saying that our friends were accusing him of flirting with this girl when all he was doing was consoling her because of her very recent break-up with her boyfriend. (She happened to be the ex-girlfriend of my boyfriend’s cousin). Believe it or not, I took the bait and trusted that what he was telling me was the truth. Months later I discovered the whole truth. He was not only flirting with this girl but he promised her a lot of things. Do you want to know how I found out everything? I traced the phone no. of the girl and called her pretending to be someone else. Of course later on I admitted to her who I really was and she apologized.
Honestly, I was madder at my boyfriend than with this girl. For the second time, I threatened to leave him, but he won my heart again ... and this time, I also felt trapped because I found myself pregnant.
I was married to this same cheater a few months after I found out I was pregnant. I was a nervous wreck, paranoid with all his philandering. He continued to cheat on me although I didn’t bother to investigate further. My hurting heart became numb and cold after a while. I finally broke up with him after 10 years of married life. I could only take too much. It was meant to happen years ago.
You know what’s crazy? I discovered after we broke up that all throughout our marriage he was still communicating with that first girl he cheated me with (remember that girl at the party?). Our marriage was declared null and void as a result. He was never faithful to me, and for that reason I knew that he never loved me.
The point of the matter is ... if your boyfriend cheats on you, chances are he will continue to do so. I am not saying that there is no room for change. What I’m saying is that if he can have the guts to do it to you now, then what will stop him from doing it in the future? In the first place, you should not even be going through those hurts. You don’t deserve it. You deserve to be loved and treated rightly. This is the reason why I always use the Scripture, DO NOT AWAKEN LOVE UNTIL IT PLEASES.
Loving someone brings about certain pains and hurts that young people are not prepared for. And when you get exposed to these cheatings and betrayals early on in life, you will be carrying a lot of fears, doubts, and insecurities with you in your future relationships, and more so in your future marriage. Until now I still feel traces of insecurities in me, only because of what I was exposed to early in my life. Had I known God then and His Word, I would have been spared of what I’ve been through.
Women who have been through what I’ve been through can attest to the fact that insecurities are not fun. It can rob you of your joy and peace. It can hinder you from receiving the love that you rightfully deserve. It can make you push people away ... more so those who love you the most.
So if your boyfriend is cheating on you, get out of that relationship. Don’t be as stupid as me who just kept on accepting him back. My accepting him back encouraged him to cheat on me again and again and again.
My best advice for you is to enjoy your single life by gaining more friends, guys and girls alike, and staying unattached from any guy until the right time. And if you will ask me when the right time is, refer to my other article: http://www.godzgurlz.com/hurt-proof-your-heart.html#.UIoBWsXR5_Q.
