PURSUE ME
DECEMBER 2012
by Lisa Maki
I grew up knowing that a man should pursue a woman and not the other way around. Perhaps it was the way my parents taught me, my generation, or maybe it is the culture from where I come from. Whatever it was, a woman being pursued by a man sounds more right to me than a man being pursued by a woman. Even the fairy tales I enjoyed as a young girl always depicted a picture of a prince coming to save his princess.
Biblically, men were the ones pursing women. Abraham sent his servant to look for a wife for his son. Jacob found Rachel and fell in love with her at first sight. It is pretty obvious that God created men to pursue women. This is His order. There was only one incident in the Bible where the woman pursued the man, and that was Ruth with Boaz. Still, it was a special and isolated case which was done with utmost decency and caution.
Men were designed by God to be the master of their homes and kings of their own kingdoms. They were created to take authority and to be leaders. All throughout history, men have conquered lands and territories. This “conquistador” in every man is the reason why, by nature, he is a pursuer. He loves the pursuit and the chase. He loves the victorious feeling after winning his battles. He gets fulfillment over the reward he gets through his hard work. Relating all these to his pursuit of his future queen explains why he would feel more challenged and fulfilled if he is the one pursuing, and not the other way around.
A man’s ego may bloat when a woman is pursuing him, making him feel good and important. It may even make him feel ahead of his other friends. It is something he can brag about. Yet, deep inside, he is not fulfilled. He will never be fulfilled until he pursues and conquers. He feels victorious when he has worked hard for something and finally has the reward for it. This is the source of every man’s passion, and the reason why he keeps moving on. Take this away and he is defeated.
A woman, on the other hand, was created by God to be protected, which is why she is the one who should be pursued. It is for this reason why she craves to be noticed, why she yearns for attention. She has an instinct inside her to be pursued. Somewhere deep inside her is a dream for a prince charming who will come and rescue her. This dream may have lay dormant for a long time, or she may have even killed it because of her disappointments and frustrations. Though she hears that faint voice that she deserves to be pursued, she has long brushed it off, thinking that it doesn’t work anymore in our modern day times.
Sad to say, this is what is happening today with our women. More and more of them are the ones pursuing men, without even a hint of hesitation or bashfulness. They have become very vocal about what they want. I was actually shocked when my husband told me of a story that happened to him when he was 17. He was depositing money in the bank and the teller, who was definitely older than him, gave him a piece of paper with her phone number and said, “Call me”. My husband, being very young at that time, got so excited that an older lady will be interested in him. He called her up instantly and she said, “My other boyfriend is a football player. What can you offer me”?
I want to believe that somewhere in her past, that teller believed that she should be pursued and not the other way around. Maybe her football player boyfriend had other girlfriends too. Maybe she was playing the same game, wanting to have other men on the side. Perhaps she used to believe in a prince charming but after several failed relationships she realized that it will never happen.
At one point in her life she got tired and fed-up. She decided to stand up and not be fooled by men again. She realized that she can do the same thing that men do. This realization was passed on from one generation to the next, creating a breed of women who have no qualms of not only pursuing men but throwing themselves at them.
Sadly, this is a reality among Christian women too. I see profiles of single Christian men on facebook with so many Christian women vying for their attention. I’ve heard of stories from single Christian men about Christian women who were quite aggressive in expressing their desire to be with them. Some single Christian women are getting weary from waiting for their promised men that they have taken matters into their own hands.
Listen to me single women of God. If you truly say that you have faith in God and His Word, then you will wait for the man He has set aside for you. He will bring that man to you, and not the other way around. And if you remain obedient to what God says in His Word, and you remain intimate with Him, then you will know when that time comes. You will know who he is. This was the case with Rebekah.
But [Rebekah’s] brother and mother said, Let the girl stay with us a few days—at least ten; then she may go. But [the servant] said to them, Do not hinder and delay me, seeing that the Lord has caused me to go prosperously on my way. Send me away, that I may go to my master. And they said, We will call the girl and ask her [what is] her desire. So they called Rebekah and said to her, Will you go with this man? And she said, I will go (Genesis 24:55-58).
She didn’t even know the servant she was going with, didn’t know Abraham, and of course didn’t know Isaac, the man she was going to marry. And yet she said, “I will go”, without any hesitation. Where did that confidence come from? It came from her faith in and intimacy with God. She has been waiting for it. She knew it was coming. And when it did, she knew right away in her spirit. Everything was in accordance to God’s perfect order.
“God’s perfect order” ... this is the essence of us, women, being pursued by men. It is God’s design, and therefore His perfect order. Anything outside of this falls outside of His blueprint. Anything that falls outside of His blueprint will not succeed the way He intends to.
Allowing men to pursue us is submitting to God’s perfect order so that His perfect plan will unfold. This requires faith that God will do what He says He will do. This requires patience in waiting for God’s perfect timing. This requires being set-apart from how the world is doing it.
When you wait to be pursued, God slowly leads your man to you. When you do the opposite, you hinder God and therefore you delay the process or ruin the whole plan.
So if you are dreaming of meeting your promised man and finally marching down that aisle and sealing your covenant in marriage, then you better follow God’s perfect order. Wait to be pursued. He will come in God’s perfect time. And just like Rebekah, you will know if it is him.
Biblically, men were the ones pursing women. Abraham sent his servant to look for a wife for his son. Jacob found Rachel and fell in love with her at first sight. It is pretty obvious that God created men to pursue women. This is His order. There was only one incident in the Bible where the woman pursued the man, and that was Ruth with Boaz. Still, it was a special and isolated case which was done with utmost decency and caution.
Men were designed by God to be the master of their homes and kings of their own kingdoms. They were created to take authority and to be leaders. All throughout history, men have conquered lands and territories. This “conquistador” in every man is the reason why, by nature, he is a pursuer. He loves the pursuit and the chase. He loves the victorious feeling after winning his battles. He gets fulfillment over the reward he gets through his hard work. Relating all these to his pursuit of his future queen explains why he would feel more challenged and fulfilled if he is the one pursuing, and not the other way around.
A man’s ego may bloat when a woman is pursuing him, making him feel good and important. It may even make him feel ahead of his other friends. It is something he can brag about. Yet, deep inside, he is not fulfilled. He will never be fulfilled until he pursues and conquers. He feels victorious when he has worked hard for something and finally has the reward for it. This is the source of every man’s passion, and the reason why he keeps moving on. Take this away and he is defeated.
A woman, on the other hand, was created by God to be protected, which is why she is the one who should be pursued. It is for this reason why she craves to be noticed, why she yearns for attention. She has an instinct inside her to be pursued. Somewhere deep inside her is a dream for a prince charming who will come and rescue her. This dream may have lay dormant for a long time, or she may have even killed it because of her disappointments and frustrations. Though she hears that faint voice that she deserves to be pursued, she has long brushed it off, thinking that it doesn’t work anymore in our modern day times.
Sad to say, this is what is happening today with our women. More and more of them are the ones pursuing men, without even a hint of hesitation or bashfulness. They have become very vocal about what they want. I was actually shocked when my husband told me of a story that happened to him when he was 17. He was depositing money in the bank and the teller, who was definitely older than him, gave him a piece of paper with her phone number and said, “Call me”. My husband, being very young at that time, got so excited that an older lady will be interested in him. He called her up instantly and she said, “My other boyfriend is a football player. What can you offer me”?
I want to believe that somewhere in her past, that teller believed that she should be pursued and not the other way around. Maybe her football player boyfriend had other girlfriends too. Maybe she was playing the same game, wanting to have other men on the side. Perhaps she used to believe in a prince charming but after several failed relationships she realized that it will never happen.
At one point in her life she got tired and fed-up. She decided to stand up and not be fooled by men again. She realized that she can do the same thing that men do. This realization was passed on from one generation to the next, creating a breed of women who have no qualms of not only pursuing men but throwing themselves at them.
Sadly, this is a reality among Christian women too. I see profiles of single Christian men on facebook with so many Christian women vying for their attention. I’ve heard of stories from single Christian men about Christian women who were quite aggressive in expressing their desire to be with them. Some single Christian women are getting weary from waiting for their promised men that they have taken matters into their own hands.
Listen to me single women of God. If you truly say that you have faith in God and His Word, then you will wait for the man He has set aside for you. He will bring that man to you, and not the other way around. And if you remain obedient to what God says in His Word, and you remain intimate with Him, then you will know when that time comes. You will know who he is. This was the case with Rebekah.
But [Rebekah’s] brother and mother said, Let the girl stay with us a few days—at least ten; then she may go. But [the servant] said to them, Do not hinder and delay me, seeing that the Lord has caused me to go prosperously on my way. Send me away, that I may go to my master. And they said, We will call the girl and ask her [what is] her desire. So they called Rebekah and said to her, Will you go with this man? And she said, I will go (Genesis 24:55-58).
She didn’t even know the servant she was going with, didn’t know Abraham, and of course didn’t know Isaac, the man she was going to marry. And yet she said, “I will go”, without any hesitation. Where did that confidence come from? It came from her faith in and intimacy with God. She has been waiting for it. She knew it was coming. And when it did, she knew right away in her spirit. Everything was in accordance to God’s perfect order.
“God’s perfect order” ... this is the essence of us, women, being pursued by men. It is God’s design, and therefore His perfect order. Anything outside of this falls outside of His blueprint. Anything that falls outside of His blueprint will not succeed the way He intends to.
Allowing men to pursue us is submitting to God’s perfect order so that His perfect plan will unfold. This requires faith that God will do what He says He will do. This requires patience in waiting for God’s perfect timing. This requires being set-apart from how the world is doing it.
When you wait to be pursued, God slowly leads your man to you. When you do the opposite, you hinder God and therefore you delay the process or ruin the whole plan.
So if you are dreaming of meeting your promised man and finally marching down that aisle and sealing your covenant in marriage, then you better follow God’s perfect order. Wait to be pursued. He will come in God’s perfect time. And just like Rebekah, you will know if it is him.
Lisa Maki is the founder, publisher, and editor of God'z Gurlz. More about Lisa at ...
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