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MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIPS

THE ARMOUR-BEARER WIFE:
hER bIGGEST sTRONGHOLD


Before you read this, be sure you have read The Wife: The Armour-Bearer.

The first step to being an Armour-Bearer wife is to recognize that God created us to be one. The second step is to desire to be this Armour-Bearer. The third step is to fulfill this Armour-Bearer role. This is where the challenge begins.

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There are two sides when we are warring in the spirit for our husbands: our husband’s strongholds that we need to destroy, and our own strongholds. Until we subdue and kill our own strongholds, we will not win this battle. We won’t be able to fight for our husbands or intercede for them effectively.

Our husband’s strongholds may even stir up the very strongholds that we have, hindering us from being able to even enter the battlefield. For instance, if you have major insecurity issues and your husband’s stronghold is lust, then that will be a big problem for you. Instead of being able to war for him in the spiritual realm, you will be sucked into your insecurities and end up being so hurt, angry, and depressed.

Now there are different types of strongholds that we, wives, may have including insecurities, jealousy, rejection, bitterness, hunger for attention, etc. God revealed to me, through Scripture, that the leader or the “king” of all these strongholds is FEAR.

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This FEAR is the most powerful tool of the enemy against us. It is the root cause of all our underlying issues that hinder our effectiveness as Armour-Bearers. 

10 One Sabbath day as Jesus was teaching in a synagogue, 11 he saw a woman who had been crippled by an evil spirit. She had been bent double for eighteen years and was unable to stand up straight. (Luke 13).
The spirit of fear is an evil spirit that can cripple us and disable us to stand up straight. Without stable and solid legs, we will not be able to perform our role as Armour-Bearers.

Let me bring you to 1 Peter 3:6 to further explain this “king” of our strongholds.

"You are true daughters of Sarah if you do what is right and do not succumb to fear."

“Succumb” means to surrender to something that is powerful. Obviously, it is something powerful enough to be warned not to “surrender” or “give in” to.

The New Living Translation says: “You are true daughters of Sarah if you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.”

This spirit of fear always attacks us in the realm of “what our husbands might do”. 

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What if he chooses that other woman over me? ... What if he leaves me? ... What if he won’t be able to provide for us anymore? ... What if he will hurt me again? ... What if he goes back to being an alcoholic? ... What if he looks at porn? ... What if he cheats on me? ... What if he wastes our money? ... What if he can’t find a job? ... What if he suffers a heart attack? And so on and so forth. 
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These fears make us panic, nag our husband, feel insecure, feel suspicious, run away, rebel, and take matters into our own hands. In short, it “gets us in the flesh”. This is what the devil wants. If he can get us in the flesh, then we will not win.

We are not warring against flesh and blood, remember? This is not a physical war but a spiritual one. So to win the spiritual war, we have to be in the spirit.

The next question now is: How do we fight this stronghold of fear? How do we conquer this beast?

My answers to this question will blow your mind. Actually, they are not my answers but the answers that the Holy Spirit gave me, which blew my mind. 

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Paul talks about the “mind of the flesh” and the “mind of the spirit” in Romans 8. If there is a mind of the flesh, then there is a heart of the flesh. The heart gets its feelings from what the mind dictates. Whatever the mind thinks, the heart feels.

The heart is neutral. It simply follows the mind that controls it. Either it is controlled by the mind of the flesh, or the mind of the spirit.

Now the mind of the flesh (defined as “sense and reason”) is death. But the mind of the Spirit is life and peace. 7 [That is] because the mind of the flesh (with its carnal thoughts and purposes) is hostile to God, for it does not submit itself to God’s Law; indeed it cannot.
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The mind of our flesh is sense and reason. It is the mind that thinks about logical things such as: “I will leave my husband if he cheats on me.” This is very logical. Why will you stay with a man who is cheating on you? The mind of the flesh will never subject itself to the Word of God. It is the mind of our flesh that the devil attacks with fear. And since this mind responds and reacts through sense and reason, then everything the devil will plant in it will sound very logical and reasonable.

To defeat this stronghold of fear is to control the mind with the spirit and not with the flesh.

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When I began to ask God how to do this, He brought me to Hosea 10:12: 


"Break up unused (or uncultivated) ground."

He then started to show me that the “ground” is the “heart”. My spiritual heart is uncultivated and unused. I have to start breaking it. How do I break it?

We are not used to utilizing the heart of the spirit. It is always the heart of the flesh that operates. All our past issues of insecurities, hurts, betrayal, rejection, etc. are rooted in the heart of our flesh. They have become a hardening agent causing us to justify our feelings and actions. 

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To break the heart of the spirit is to start using it and to begin operating in nothing but what the Word of God says. To break the heart of the spirit is to silence the heart of the flesh when it tries to justify its actions, or find excuses to brush off what God says in His Word.

The heart of the spirit will cling to God’s Word that says: I hate divorce. The heart of the flesh will brush that off and say, “But he is cheating on me”.

Let me bring you back again to 1 Peter 3 and see further what God says in His Word about our role as wives. Take note of the underlined words.

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In the same way, wives, submit to your husbands; so that even if some of them do not believe the Word, they will be won over by your conduct, without your saying anything, 2 as they see your respectful and pure behavior. 3 Your beauty should not consist in externals such as fancy hairstyles, gold jewelry or what you wear; 4 rather, let it be the inner character of your heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit. In God’s sight this is of great value. 5 This is how the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves and submit to their husbands, 6 the way Sarah obeyed Avraham, honoring him as her lord.

To make my point clearer, I will present a distinction between the heart of flesh and the heart of the spirit based on the verses above.

Heart of Flesh: Why will I submit to my husband if he is not submitted to God?
Heart of Spirit: I will submit to my husband because God says so.

Heart of Flesh: He needs to understand that what he is doing is affecting me badly. He is not getting it!!!
Heart of Spirit: I will continue being the example of Jesus in his life. I will let Jesus’ light expose to him what is wrong with him.

Heart of Flesh: How can I respect a man who drinks all day, doesn’t have a job, and watches porn?
Heart of Spirit: I respect my husband because God put him above me and because God commanded me to do so.

Heart of Flesh: So you just want me to shut up? We need to communicate.
Heart of Spirit: “Father, I know my husband will not understand no matter how I explain. So I will leave it to you to talk to him.”

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I can already hear some women saying ... “So you just want me to be a doormat?” This is my response to that: “Well, that devil is already making you a doormat. So what do you do now?”

We all know that it is easier to operate in the heart of flesh. This is our nature! And this is why to operate in the heart of the spirit takes a lot of discipline and self-control, which are actually the fruits of the Spirit. This means that the more we train our hearts to follow our spirits, the more disciplined we will even become; thus, the easier it will get.


And guess what? If you are resisting this and don’t want to do it, it’s on you. That immediately disqualifies you from the category of ARMOUR-BEARER QUEENS who will reign with Yeshua someday. 
1 John 4:18 says: There is no fear in love ... the person who keeps fearing has not been brought to maturity in regard to love.
Did you read that? A person who keeps fearing has not been brought to maturity in regard to love. Our heart of flesh is so used to the worldly love that focuses on the self. So if you want to mature in love, then you have to train that heart of yours to listen to your spirit.

The very reason why we are even “saved” is so that we can be set apart and be perfected like Yeshua. Training the mind and heart of our spirit is merely a preparation for our eternal life. 

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It takes a true warrior wife, a real armour-bearer, to be able to break the ground of the heart of the spirit and start operating in it. You know why? Because it is hard! Anything difficult is not for the faint of heart. Remember ... NARROW IS THE PATH.
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The choice is yours. If you want to defeat the biggest threat to your being an Armour-Bearer wife, then start breaking that uncultivated “heart of the spirit” today.

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An Armour-Bearer Queen was attacked by a giant. He was so big and strong; it made the Queen run away and hide. The giant followed her and found her and kept taunting her day and night. Finally, the Queen came out of her hiding place and she began threatening the giant with her sword (the Word of God) while protecting herself with her shield (faith). The more she threatened him with her sword and shield, the smaller he became. Finally, when he became so small, the Queen asked: So what is your name? Who are you? The giant responded with the tiniest voice: “My name is fear.”

If you are ready to be an effective Armour-Bearer Wife, please read Part 3: The Armour-Bearer Wife: Rebuilder of Wall

Lisa Maki
03 August 2015

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