the first marriage
Everything I have learned and continue to learn about marriage is from Yahweh. Nobody taught me about it. In fact, even until now, there is not much preaching about it (compared to other teachings) – more so when it comes to Biblical principles from the Torah. It is for this reason why I asked Yahweh, through His Ruach/Spirit, to lead me to Scriptures from the Torah that will lead me to a deeper understanding of His instructions for marriage, specifically for the wife.
I then began to ask the Lord why there are not many “specific” and “clear” teachings on marriage from the Torah (as compared to the New Testament). He then revealed to me that the first husband and wife broke their covenant with Him, which symbolizes a marriage that was broken. All throughout history, Yahweh’s bride has been unfaithful to Him, which was why He divorced her.
I then began to ask the Lord why there are not many “specific” and “clear” teachings on marriage from the Torah (as compared to the New Testament). He then revealed to me that the first husband and wife broke their covenant with Him, which symbolizes a marriage that was broken. All throughout history, Yahweh’s bride has been unfaithful to Him, which was why He divorced her.
Jeremiah 3:6-13
The LORD said also unto me in the days of Josiah the king, Hast thou seen that which backsliding Israel hath done? She is gone up upon every high mountain and under every green tree, and there hath played the harlot.
And I said after she had done all these things, Turn thou unto me. But she returned not. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it.
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.
And it came to pass through the lightness of her whoredom, that she defiled the land, and committed adultery with stones and with stocks.
And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah hath not turned unto me with her whole heart, but feignedly, saith the LORD.
And the LORD said unto me, The backsliding Israel hath justified herself more than treacherous Judah.
Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the LORD; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the LORD, and I will not keep anger for ever.
Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the LORD thy God, and hast scattered thy ways to the strangers under every green tree, and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the LORD.
Yeshua/Jesus came to redeem us from our adulterous acts. He came to pay the penalty for His bride. This is the reason why in the New Testament we see Scriptures and teachings that are specific for marriage. However, since I am seeking some Torah teachings on marriage, the best place to start is where it all began, right? So what I will be sharing with you here is the revelation I got from Yahweh through the Ruach Hakodesh.
Genesis 1:27-30
And God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and they shall rule over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the heaven and over the animals and over all the earth and over all the creeping things that creep upon the earth.”
And God created man in His image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
And God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and rule over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the sky and over all the beasts that tread upon the earth.”
And God said, “Behold, I have given you every seed bearing herb, which is upon the surface of the entire earth, and every tree that has seed bearing fruit; it will be yours for food.
And to all the beasts of the earth and to all the fowl of the heavens, and to everything that moves upon the earth, in which there is a living spirit, every green herb to eat,” and it was so.
Notice that I underlined the words: AND GOD SAID TO THEM. This means that God gave these instructions to both Adam and Eve, to both the husband and wife. These were things that “they can do”.
And God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and they shall rule over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the heaven and over the animals and over all the earth and over all the creeping things that creep upon the earth.”
And God created man in His image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.
And God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and rule over the fish of the sea and over the fowl of the sky and over all the beasts that tread upon the earth.”
And God said, “Behold, I have given you every seed bearing herb, which is upon the surface of the entire earth, and every tree that has seed bearing fruit; it will be yours for food.
And to all the beasts of the earth and to all the fowl of the heavens, and to everything that moves upon the earth, in which there is a living spirit, every green herb to eat,” and it was so.
Notice that I underlined the words: AND GOD SAID TO THEM. This means that God gave these instructions to both Adam and Eve, to both the husband and wife. These were things that “they can do”.
Genesis 2:15-18
Now the Lord God took the man, and He placed him in the Garden of Eden to work it and to guard it.
And the Lord God commanded man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat.
But of the Tree of Knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat of it, for on the day that you eat thereof, you shall surely die.”
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man is alone; I shall make him a helpmate opposite him.”
You may ask: Why does Genesis 1:27-30 talk about the man and the woman Yahweh created, yet Genesis 2:15-18 talk about the woman just about to be created? The answer is: Genesis 2 gives us the details missing from Genesis 1.
Again, notice the underlined words: AND THE LORD COMMANDED MAN. This instruction was given “only to the man”, before his wife was created. The instruction covers “what they can’t do”.
Now the Lord God took the man, and He placed him in the Garden of Eden to work it and to guard it.
And the Lord God commanded man, saying, “Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat.
But of the Tree of Knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat of it, for on the day that you eat thereof, you shall surely die.”
And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man is alone; I shall make him a helpmate opposite him.”
You may ask: Why does Genesis 1:27-30 talk about the man and the woman Yahweh created, yet Genesis 2:15-18 talk about the woman just about to be created? The answer is: Genesis 2 gives us the details missing from Genesis 1.
Again, notice the underlined words: AND THE LORD COMMANDED MAN. This instruction was given “only to the man”, before his wife was created. The instruction covers “what they can’t do”.
Do you see the difference here? God gave the instruction on the “do’s” to both Adam and Eve, yet when it came to the “don’ts”, it was only given to Adam.
Verse 15 says: Now the Lord God took the man, and He placed him in the Garden of Eden to work it and to guard it.
It is the husband’s responsibility to guard his marriage and his territory, which is the reason God gave him the command on “what not to do”. It was to him that God gave the instruction to set boundaries. It was to him that God gave the instruction to ensure the safety and protection of his wife. Adam failed to do this and therefore the serpent entered the garden and deceived his wife.
Do you see the same thing happening in our Christian marriages today and even in your own marriage (if you are married)? Husbands are so busy doing their own thing, and that includes ministry, forgetting that they are to guard and protect their marriage. They are so busy for other things and people that they are too preoccupied to even listen to their wives. Where was Adam when the serpent started talking to Eve? The serpent knew so well that Eve needed someone to talk to which I believe was the reason why he engaged her in a conversation.
Now I am not saying that it was all Adam’s fault or his sole accountability. We are held accountable for what we know and what was given to us.
Let’s see what Eve was accountable for.
It is the husband’s responsibility to guard his marriage and his territory, which is the reason God gave him the command on “what not to do”. It was to him that God gave the instruction to set boundaries. It was to him that God gave the instruction to ensure the safety and protection of his wife. Adam failed to do this and therefore the serpent entered the garden and deceived his wife.
Do you see the same thing happening in our Christian marriages today and even in your own marriage (if you are married)? Husbands are so busy doing their own thing, and that includes ministry, forgetting that they are to guard and protect their marriage. They are so busy for other things and people that they are too preoccupied to even listen to their wives. Where was Adam when the serpent started talking to Eve? The serpent knew so well that Eve needed someone to talk to which I believe was the reason why he engaged her in a conversation.
Now I am not saying that it was all Adam’s fault or his sole accountability. We are held accountable for what we know and what was given to us.
Let’s see what Eve was accountable for.
The wife was created because it is not good for the man to be alone. He needed not only a companion but a help-meet -- someone who will help meet his needs, someone who will help him achieve the vision and mission that God has given her husband, someone who will ensure that the instructions given to her husband are followed.
As to whether Adam told Eve “not to touch” the fruit or she added that to what her husband said, I don’t really know. Yahweh specifically said: NOT TO EAT. However, the mere fact that she knew that the tree of the knowledge of good and evil is forbidden means that her husband told her about it. That made her accountable for what she knew.
As a help-meet her role was to support her husband in obeying God’s instructions. So even if her husband neglected some of his duties to her as a husband, that still did not give her an excuse to wander and entertain the serpent. In fact, she should have discerned that.
As a woman and wife myself, I struggle with emotions that can really get in the way of my being the help-meet that Yahweh created me to be. Each time I focus on my self – my needs, my rights, my wants – I wander off like Eve and before long the devil is already deceiving me through my thoughts and emotions.
Though it is my husband’s role to guard the garden, it is also my role to help him fulfill this. Thus, if he is not doing his part, I still have to do my part. This is something I have to constantly remind myself.
I noticed though that when my husband does his part in protecting and guarding me, and when he pays attention to me and spends time with me, I become a more secure person. I become more discerning in spotting the enemy from afar. I become stronger in overcoming any attack or temptation coming from the devil.
Similarly, when I do my part in “being there for my husband” and supporting him instead of complaining against what he is not doing right, he cleaves more to me, which is God’s instruction for him too (Genesis 2:24). It surely works both ways.
Truly, Yahweh has laid down the marriage principle from the first marriage He created. He established boundaries and accountabilities for the husband and wife respectively. The same principle holds true today as it was in the beginning. May we be faithful in obeying God’s instructions -- in living up to what He expects of us, respectively as husband and wife. And if we fall short, which we will always do, may we accept accountability for our own actions and not blame each other for it, just as the first husband and wife did in the garden.
As to whether Adam told Eve “not to touch” the fruit or she added that to what her husband said, I don’t really know. Yahweh specifically said: NOT TO EAT. However, the mere fact that she knew that the tree of the knowledge of good and evil is forbidden means that her husband told her about it. That made her accountable for what she knew.
As a help-meet her role was to support her husband in obeying God’s instructions. So even if her husband neglected some of his duties to her as a husband, that still did not give her an excuse to wander and entertain the serpent. In fact, she should have discerned that.
As a woman and wife myself, I struggle with emotions that can really get in the way of my being the help-meet that Yahweh created me to be. Each time I focus on my self – my needs, my rights, my wants – I wander off like Eve and before long the devil is already deceiving me through my thoughts and emotions.
Though it is my husband’s role to guard the garden, it is also my role to help him fulfill this. Thus, if he is not doing his part, I still have to do my part. This is something I have to constantly remind myself.
I noticed though that when my husband does his part in protecting and guarding me, and when he pays attention to me and spends time with me, I become a more secure person. I become more discerning in spotting the enemy from afar. I become stronger in overcoming any attack or temptation coming from the devil.
Similarly, when I do my part in “being there for my husband” and supporting him instead of complaining against what he is not doing right, he cleaves more to me, which is God’s instruction for him too (Genesis 2:24). It surely works both ways.
Truly, Yahweh has laid down the marriage principle from the first marriage He created. He established boundaries and accountabilities for the husband and wife respectively. The same principle holds true today as it was in the beginning. May we be faithful in obeying God’s instructions -- in living up to what He expects of us, respectively as husband and wife. And if we fall short, which we will always do, may we accept accountability for our own actions and not blame each other for it, just as the first husband and wife did in the garden.
Lisa Maki is the founder/editor of God'z Gurlz, a Bible-based online magazine for women. She and her husband Jason are part of the growing movement of Christians who are discovering their Hebrew roots, and who are studying the Torah and its parallelisms to the New Testament. Lisa is likewise a Professional Writer with over 15 years of experience in the field.
