The UNEXPECTED STORM
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"I can only share what I have been through and continue to go through. This is the latest about me and something to encourage you with. Know that you are not alone in your journey. Know that the trials you go through are meant to uplift the next one. Do not give up!" ~Lisa Maki~
*08-03-2014* |
I thought all I needed to do was prepare for the storm. What I didn’t anticipate was the kind of storm that will hit me. It was nothing that I have experienced ... nothing that I was familiar with ... nothing that I was forewarned about.
I guess I was somehow warned, but not in a scary way. I should have known.
I guess I was somehow warned, but not in a scary way. I should have known.
I dreamed of a sister in the Lord coming to my house unexpectedly and giving me a bouquet of multi-colored flowers. I haven’t talked to her for a while before that dream and she was not even in my mind, so I wondered why I dreamed about her. I connected with her and told her about the dream. After asking me several questions she finally revealed to me what that dream meant.
She said that it was God giving me those flowers, and that God is calling me to a place of intimacy and romance. She said that God is wooing me back to that secret place. At first I thought “Have I been neglecting my quiet time with the Father? What else does He need from me”? Little did I know that it was the Father’s way of preparing me for the unexpected storm.
I still didn’t get it until the storm came. It didn’t come in trickles but in strong outpour. It came like a thief in the night.
I fasted, prayed, worshiped, warred in the spirit, cast out demons, cried, wailed, and everything else imaginable just to cope with what I felt was beyond me. After some time, I felt drained and worn out. There were times when I could barely pray. Whatever spirits were there to attack me surely did a good job in wearing me out. I became confused, hurt, and angry. In as much as I wanted to overcome the enemy by casting him out of my territory, God decided to take me away from the place that the enemy was trying to invade.
It was a very trying time – not even knowing where to begin, understanding what was really going on, getting a hold of my emotions, dealing with so many different people, hearing from God, and so on and so forth. Though God sent sisters and brothers in the Lord to help me, I still felt so alone. Nobody seemed to understand the gravity of the situation that I was dealing with.
She said that it was God giving me those flowers, and that God is calling me to a place of intimacy and romance. She said that God is wooing me back to that secret place. At first I thought “Have I been neglecting my quiet time with the Father? What else does He need from me”? Little did I know that it was the Father’s way of preparing me for the unexpected storm.
I still didn’t get it until the storm came. It didn’t come in trickles but in strong outpour. It came like a thief in the night.
I fasted, prayed, worshiped, warred in the spirit, cast out demons, cried, wailed, and everything else imaginable just to cope with what I felt was beyond me. After some time, I felt drained and worn out. There were times when I could barely pray. Whatever spirits were there to attack me surely did a good job in wearing me out. I became confused, hurt, and angry. In as much as I wanted to overcome the enemy by casting him out of my territory, God decided to take me away from the place that the enemy was trying to invade.
It was a very trying time – not even knowing where to begin, understanding what was really going on, getting a hold of my emotions, dealing with so many different people, hearing from God, and so on and so forth. Though God sent sisters and brothers in the Lord to help me, I still felt so alone. Nobody seemed to understand the gravity of the situation that I was dealing with.
Moment by moment, day by day, I went with the flow of what God was trying to do. I kept myself level-headed, going about my regular work, and making sure that I spent undivided time with God each day, more than ever. I planned my moves while hearing clearly from God and allowing Him to direct me accordingly. He opened doors for me, and gave me one opportunity after the other just to get me to the next phase.
When I finally reached the place where God wanted me to be, I let a sigh of relief, awed at what God has done and how I was even able to get there. Thus was the beginning of another phase.
As the excitement of the new move began to subside, my anger and hurt started resurfacing. The emotions became overwhelming. I felt detached, not even wanting to talk to anyone. In the midst of all these I never let go of God. I clung to Him more tightly, as I begged Him to strengthen me or finally release me. I was ready to let go of the most precious thing I have in my life, not because I wanted to, but because I felt it was dead anyways.
When I finally reached the place where God wanted me to be, I let a sigh of relief, awed at what God has done and how I was even able to get there. Thus was the beginning of another phase.
As the excitement of the new move began to subside, my anger and hurt started resurfacing. The emotions became overwhelming. I felt detached, not even wanting to talk to anyone. In the midst of all these I never let go of God. I clung to Him more tightly, as I begged Him to strengthen me or finally release me. I was ready to let go of the most precious thing I have in my life, not because I wanted to, but because I felt it was dead anyways.
Then one day, out of nowhere, God started to stir up my emotions, this time in a different way. I began to cry like crazy. With every tear I felt I was being washed away. One by one the hurts and anger burst like a bubble. I remembered His promise from years back.
Then He began to send people to me who spoke to me as if God Himself was speaking to me. Encouraging words came flooding in. Women who I encouraged in the past begged me not to give up. Women who were going through almost the same thing I am going through started to share their stories with me. Things started becoming clearer.
As it has always been, God is allowing me to go through all these again for the sake of others who are going through the same thing, or will go through the same thing. What was I thinking? Just because this storm was unexpected means that it is not something that God prepared me for. Not because it seemed way beyond me means that it is something I am not familiar with. Not because things looked dead means that they can never be resurrected. As one sister reminded me, “God does not change. Hold on to His promise”.
I know what God promised me. He went the distance to fulfill it for me back then. He will do the same thing over and over again. He is the same God yesterday, today, and forever.
Then He began to send people to me who spoke to me as if God Himself was speaking to me. Encouraging words came flooding in. Women who I encouraged in the past begged me not to give up. Women who were going through almost the same thing I am going through started to share their stories with me. Things started becoming clearer.
As it has always been, God is allowing me to go through all these again for the sake of others who are going through the same thing, or will go through the same thing. What was I thinking? Just because this storm was unexpected means that it is not something that God prepared me for. Not because it seemed way beyond me means that it is something I am not familiar with. Not because things looked dead means that they can never be resurrected. As one sister reminded me, “God does not change. Hold on to His promise”.
I know what God promised me. He went the distance to fulfill it for me back then. He will do the same thing over and over again. He is the same God yesterday, today, and forever.
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The big storm is over but the floods have not subsided. I don’t even know if there is another storm coming next. All I know is that I am at peace now with where God has placed me. I feel like that first dove that Noah released to find a dry land. I am not afraid anymore to fly out of the “ark” (God’s presence), but I still do not find a dry land for me to rest outside of Him.
Indeed, I have become even more intimate with God during this season. I will never trade this for anything else. He is still completing what needs to be completed in me. This is what I am waiting for. |
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace [Who imparts all blessing and favor], Who has called you to His [own] eternal glory in Christ Jesus, will Himself complete and make you what you ought to be, establish and ground you securely, and strengthen, and settle you (I Peter 5:10).
