Why Do I Love Too Much?
September 2012
“Why do I love too much?” I heard one teen say. “It just breaks my heart but I can’t help it”. Can you relate to this? Are you one of those girls who fall in love so fast and so intense? Are you the type who will give everything to your boyfriend just because you love him? If you do, then this article is for you. If you don’t, then this is still for you as it may happen to you one day soon. You’ll never know until it hits you. And when it hits you, you won’t even know what hit you.
Love is a good thing. God created love. He Himself is love. Yet, it can be misplaced when it happens at the wrong time and for the wrong reasons. So you may ask, “What is the wrong reason for love”? “How can love be wrong”?
One thing you have to bear in mind is that love is a very powerful emotion. Since it is highly emotional, it can be very tricky. You may feel you are in love just because the person makes you feel good or accepted, and not because you really love him. In fact, you may say you love him because you know he loves you but he doesn’t really love you. So to answer the question, “why do I love too much” means to dig deeper into your issues on what you are looking for in “love”.
Perhaps you are hungry for a father’s love. Or you may be longing for attention because your parents don’t even praise you. It can also be that you desire to be accepted because you feel rejected by your own family. Whatever your issues are, these influence the way you feel towards people. Your issues are your most vulnerable spots. If your issue is “attention”, then you will be most vulnerable when a guy pays real attention to you. And when that happens, then your heart will start beating so fast and you are caught in that “love” feeling. It can grow more intense as the guy pays more attention to you and even when he stops paying attention to you. Since your heart is hungry for that attention, once it gets it, it will not want to let go of it. This is where love can even cross over to obsession.
And mind you, this “love” thing does not only happen to girls. It happens to guys too and it happened to my own son when he was only 14. He met this girl online and has never even seen her in person. He was drawn to her maturity (she was two years older, btw). I knew he was falling so hard for her because of the way he was, not only when talking to her but when talking about her. The relationship did not last long and my son got so hurt. I will go back to this “hurt” part in a while.
As I’ve said earlier, my son was drawn to that girl’s maturity. How can he not? I raised him as a single mom for 12 years. He had a mother figure as his father figure too. What drew him to that girl was the same attachment he had with me. Doesn’t that make a lot of sense? This is what I am trying to explain to you about “issues” behind your feeling “in love”.
The question “Why do I love too much” has nothing to do with loving much but with being hurt in effect. You love much because you are trying to fill a void that you have inside of you. You get hurt in return because the person can’t fill that void.
Nobody but Jesus can ever fill that void. And it is only through Jesus’ love where you can experience a sense of security that will keep you from looking for love elsewhere. Once you have found your true love in Jesus, you will be able to give real love to others.
Real love doesn’t mean having sex with your boyfriend just because you want to please him. It doesn’t mean losing peace over your relationship with him. It doesn’t mean allowing him to treat you badly and you can’t even say no to it. It doesn’t mean being scared to lose him. It doesn’t mean forcing him to stay with you if he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
Real love means preserving your virginity for your future husband. It means having peace in a relationship no matter how difficult it can get. It means standing your ground as to how to be treated the way God wants you to be treated. It means letting go if it’s time to go.
Real love is being obedient to what God says in His Word. Anything outside of His Word is not love at all. So if you are doing something that is against the Word of God, it can’t be love.
So the next time you want to ask, “Why do I love too much”, better start reflecting about yourself first and the deeper issues you have that is causing you to feel so emotional over another person. Then tap into the true source of love, who is called love ... Jesus, our Yeshua.
~Lisa Maki~
Love is a good thing. God created love. He Himself is love. Yet, it can be misplaced when it happens at the wrong time and for the wrong reasons. So you may ask, “What is the wrong reason for love”? “How can love be wrong”?
One thing you have to bear in mind is that love is a very powerful emotion. Since it is highly emotional, it can be very tricky. You may feel you are in love just because the person makes you feel good or accepted, and not because you really love him. In fact, you may say you love him because you know he loves you but he doesn’t really love you. So to answer the question, “why do I love too much” means to dig deeper into your issues on what you are looking for in “love”.
Perhaps you are hungry for a father’s love. Or you may be longing for attention because your parents don’t even praise you. It can also be that you desire to be accepted because you feel rejected by your own family. Whatever your issues are, these influence the way you feel towards people. Your issues are your most vulnerable spots. If your issue is “attention”, then you will be most vulnerable when a guy pays real attention to you. And when that happens, then your heart will start beating so fast and you are caught in that “love” feeling. It can grow more intense as the guy pays more attention to you and even when he stops paying attention to you. Since your heart is hungry for that attention, once it gets it, it will not want to let go of it. This is where love can even cross over to obsession.
And mind you, this “love” thing does not only happen to girls. It happens to guys too and it happened to my own son when he was only 14. He met this girl online and has never even seen her in person. He was drawn to her maturity (she was two years older, btw). I knew he was falling so hard for her because of the way he was, not only when talking to her but when talking about her. The relationship did not last long and my son got so hurt. I will go back to this “hurt” part in a while.
As I’ve said earlier, my son was drawn to that girl’s maturity. How can he not? I raised him as a single mom for 12 years. He had a mother figure as his father figure too. What drew him to that girl was the same attachment he had with me. Doesn’t that make a lot of sense? This is what I am trying to explain to you about “issues” behind your feeling “in love”.
The question “Why do I love too much” has nothing to do with loving much but with being hurt in effect. You love much because you are trying to fill a void that you have inside of you. You get hurt in return because the person can’t fill that void.
Nobody but Jesus can ever fill that void. And it is only through Jesus’ love where you can experience a sense of security that will keep you from looking for love elsewhere. Once you have found your true love in Jesus, you will be able to give real love to others.
Real love doesn’t mean having sex with your boyfriend just because you want to please him. It doesn’t mean losing peace over your relationship with him. It doesn’t mean allowing him to treat you badly and you can’t even say no to it. It doesn’t mean being scared to lose him. It doesn’t mean forcing him to stay with you if he doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
Real love means preserving your virginity for your future husband. It means having peace in a relationship no matter how difficult it can get. It means standing your ground as to how to be treated the way God wants you to be treated. It means letting go if it’s time to go.
Real love is being obedient to what God says in His Word. Anything outside of His Word is not love at all. So if you are doing something that is against the Word of God, it can’t be love.
So the next time you want to ask, “Why do I love too much”, better start reflecting about yourself first and the deeper issues you have that is causing you to feel so emotional over another person. Then tap into the true source of love, who is called love ... Jesus, our Yeshua.
~Lisa Maki~
