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marriage & relationships

WIVES ... ATTENTION!


FEBRUARY 2013
Lisa Maki

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I did not settle for crumbs when it came to the man who I was going to marry.  I was very picky, let’s put it that way.  A Christian man who regularly went to church was not good enough for me.  I knew who I deserved and I gave God my list.  How I wish I kept this list so I can scan it and show it to all of you.  Nevertheless, I still remember what were on the top five: a man after God’s own heart, a man as bold as a lion, a man who has a very powerful testimony, a very loving and romantic man, and a man who I will be very attracted to. 


Though I already had a good understanding of letting God’s perfect will be done at that time, I also knew that whatever we ask in prayer, if we believe that we receive it, we shall have it.  I got everything I prayed for, and even more than that.

With my prayer for a husband being answered, and having all my desired character traits that went with him, I somehow formed this concept in my mind that I had a perfect husband ... perfect for me in that sense.  I saw him as a leader and very strong man of God, making me very confident about his walk, and our walk as a couple for that matter.  Thus, what God showed me during the first years of our marriage became a total shock to me.   

Instead of a man after God’s own heart I saw a man who needed to be reminded to read the Word everyday.  Instead of a leader I saw a man who didn’t even pray for me unless I asked for it.  Instead of a strong man of God I saw a man who struggled against and even gave in to the desires of his flesh.  Instead of a loving husband I saw a man who had occasional anger outbursts.

What I saw during those first years made me want to run away from it.  It was something I was not prepared to handle, or trained to deal with.  It was something that I didn’t ask for.  I got so used to handling my own walk with the Lord and I didn’t want to be responsible for another person’s walk.  Besides, he was my leader.  How can a follower lead her leader?  It didn’t make sense to me.

Praise God He didn’t allow me to run away.  Instead, He locked me in and taught me valuable lessons that I wouldn’t have learned anywhere.  If not for what I have learned during that season, I wouldn’t even be writing this article now.

It took a while and several severe trials for me to finally understand my wifely role as the “eyes and ears” for my husband ... an overseer of things in the spiritual realm ... a prayer warrior ... a warning device ... a protector.  God had to break me and put me in the fiery furnace several times so I can learn my lesson.  This was one lesson I had to retake over and over again because I kept going back to my comfort zone when things started doing well. 

I guess my breaking point was when my husband and I had an intense fellowship (“argument” in lay man’s term).  He rebuked me for always being preoccupied and busy with other things.  He scolded me for not being mindful of what he is going through.  He corrected me for not being discerning enough.  You think I just took this sitting down?  No way!  I was so offended and hurt that I started defending myself.  And when I get defensive I can go on and on and on.

As a result of this intense fellowship, I began to cry out to God.  Actually, it was more than a cry out.  I was like a kid asking her dad to defend her and prove my husband wrong.  Well, I was the one proven wrong, which hurt me more.  However, this hurt gave way to a hunger for more wisdom on how I can be a more effective help-meet to my husband.

That was when God began to show me a very special role that I never saw before.  He revealed to me that just as my husband is my protector, I am also his protector.  He taught me to see things from afar in the spiritual realm by being very sensitive to what is going on around me.  And because I was serious in obeying Him, He gave me an inner knowing of things to come.  All these came as a result of doing my part in prioritizing my husband and being attentive to his needs.

When I began embracing “being a help-meet” as my primary calling, things started falling in its place.  I started focusing more on my husband and what he is going through, thereby giving me a heads-up of what may happen as a result, and giving me a bigger view of how to tackle the problem in the spiritual realm.  I began to pay more attention to him when he is venting out to me thereby giving me a better understanding of what is going on in his heart and mind.  I also started being more aware of certain “trigger” patterns to his negative behaviors, giving me the time to prepare in prayer as well as fight the attack before it even happens.

In short, I have become my husband’s front and back eyes, warring for him in the spiritual realm.  As a result, strongholds are being broken, attacks are being stopped and cancelled, temptations are being resisted, and demons are surely fleeing.  I have seen and continue to see miracles happening.      

I didn’t know that the key was in my hands.  It is in your hands too.  Now that you know, use those keys and unlock the power that God has given you for your husband and marriage.

Please go to our Warrior Prayer section for prayers you can use for your marriage.



Lisa Maki is the founder, publisher, and editor of God'z Gurlz.  More about Lisa at ...

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