WORLDLY FRIENDSHIPS VS GODLY FRIENDSHIPS
DECEMBER 2012
by Lisa Maki
I have always had friends. I used to say that I can fill a ballroom full of people who are all my friends. Even as a kid I have always been the one approaching other kids and making friends with them. I have always been a friendly person and I can honestly say that people liked being friends with me.
Things started changing after I got reborn. I started losing friends not because I wanted to get rid of them but because God started filtering them out. There was just no way I could have remained friends with people who were not in the Lord because all I talked about after I got saved was Jesus. It was just like speaking a different language than the one they spoke. Besides, God Himself said in James 4:4 that whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. So how can I be friends with an enemy of God? And even my friends who were saved got disappointed with me. I was never the same again after I got reborn.
It’s not that I chose to be different. God started promoting and promoting me because I took my calling very seriously. I became very busy in ministry. While my friends were having coffee or meeting together for some lunch or dinner, I was either doing outreach or Bible studies. I remember one of my friends telling me, “You don’t know how to be a friend to us”. And yet, when my friends’ kids got sick or a family member was in the hospital, I was the first one on their side to pray for them.
It has not been an easy journey trying to hold on to friendships that God was already weeding out … or trying to make my friends still like me … or trying to always explain my side … or always having this nagging feeling that I did something wrong again. This journey about friends has taught me the difference between worldly friendships and godly friendships.
Friendship in the world is all about the “self”. Though it cares for the other person, it can be very possessive. It gets easily hurt or offended when the other person can’t be there. It can be a crutch or a scapegoat. Worldly friendships are bonded by common interests and experiences which is why when the other person is not on the same page anymore, the friendship ends as well. It is a take and take relationship where the persons involved want to keep taking from each other. Talk about “misery loves company”, this is one other characteristic of a worldly friendship.
On the contrary, godly friendships, or friendships initiated by God is never about the self. It knows that the purpose for the friendship is to build up each other in the Lord. As Proverbs 2:17 says: As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. It is not a crutch because each person in the friendship is founded on God and not on each other. This friendship is bonded by the persons’ love for God and obedience to His Word and their respective callings. It gives, as unto the Lord, without expecting to receive anything in return.
Godly friendships also recognize that this friendship may be just for a season, until God’s reason for the friendship is fulfilled.
Understand that even your friendships with Christians can end up as worldly friendships. When it starts being about the “self” … when it starts being possessive … when it starts being a crutch … when it starts having the same characteristics as the worldly friendship … then it is crossing the border again back to the world’s concept of friendship.
There will always be a part of us who will always seek for worldly friendships, but in my own case, it has never worked. Each time I tried to build a friendship with someone who is in Christ, when God sees that it is turning into a worldly friendship, He automatically cuts it off.
The only way we can keep our friendships godly is to center it on Christ and keep it Jesus all the time.
At the end of the day, there is no one out there who can beat Jesus in being our best friend.
As Proverbs 18:24 says … there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. His name is Jesus. He will never leave us nor forsake us.
Things started changing after I got reborn. I started losing friends not because I wanted to get rid of them but because God started filtering them out. There was just no way I could have remained friends with people who were not in the Lord because all I talked about after I got saved was Jesus. It was just like speaking a different language than the one they spoke. Besides, God Himself said in James 4:4 that whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. So how can I be friends with an enemy of God? And even my friends who were saved got disappointed with me. I was never the same again after I got reborn.
It’s not that I chose to be different. God started promoting and promoting me because I took my calling very seriously. I became very busy in ministry. While my friends were having coffee or meeting together for some lunch or dinner, I was either doing outreach or Bible studies. I remember one of my friends telling me, “You don’t know how to be a friend to us”. And yet, when my friends’ kids got sick or a family member was in the hospital, I was the first one on their side to pray for them.
It has not been an easy journey trying to hold on to friendships that God was already weeding out … or trying to make my friends still like me … or trying to always explain my side … or always having this nagging feeling that I did something wrong again. This journey about friends has taught me the difference between worldly friendships and godly friendships.
Friendship in the world is all about the “self”. Though it cares for the other person, it can be very possessive. It gets easily hurt or offended when the other person can’t be there. It can be a crutch or a scapegoat. Worldly friendships are bonded by common interests and experiences which is why when the other person is not on the same page anymore, the friendship ends as well. It is a take and take relationship where the persons involved want to keep taking from each other. Talk about “misery loves company”, this is one other characteristic of a worldly friendship.
On the contrary, godly friendships, or friendships initiated by God is never about the self. It knows that the purpose for the friendship is to build up each other in the Lord. As Proverbs 2:17 says: As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. It is not a crutch because each person in the friendship is founded on God and not on each other. This friendship is bonded by the persons’ love for God and obedience to His Word and their respective callings. It gives, as unto the Lord, without expecting to receive anything in return.
Godly friendships also recognize that this friendship may be just for a season, until God’s reason for the friendship is fulfilled.
Understand that even your friendships with Christians can end up as worldly friendships. When it starts being about the “self” … when it starts being possessive … when it starts being a crutch … when it starts having the same characteristics as the worldly friendship … then it is crossing the border again back to the world’s concept of friendship.
There will always be a part of us who will always seek for worldly friendships, but in my own case, it has never worked. Each time I tried to build a friendship with someone who is in Christ, when God sees that it is turning into a worldly friendship, He automatically cuts it off.
The only way we can keep our friendships godly is to center it on Christ and keep it Jesus all the time.
At the end of the day, there is no one out there who can beat Jesus in being our best friend.
As Proverbs 18:24 says … there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. His name is Jesus. He will never leave us nor forsake us.
Lisa Maki is the founder, publisher, and editor of God'z Gurlz. More about Lisa at ...
http://www.godzgurlz.com/regular-contributors.html
http://www.godzgurlz.com/regular-contributors.html
